This is not just a question reserved for the rich and
famous. Stalking is not a behavior defined with logic or
reason. Millions of people have been stalked through time
and history. Stalking is typically defined as three
instances of contact after you have asked the individual to
refrain from contact. This can be seeing them in public, a
telephone call, or an email.
Stalking can come in many forms and in many activities. Is
there someone who you bump into in public a little too
often? Does this go a little beyond coincidence? Do you
have telephone calls from the same person too often? Does
this continue to be a daily problem even after you ask them
to stop? Do your instincts tell you something is very wrong
with this situation?
These are just a few methods that stalkers can use to
contact you. How can you be certain that you are being
stalked? Does contact from this individual cause you fear?
Are you intimidated by their presence in your life? Do you
feel threatened? Are you afraid to do more because you are
unsure of this individual's reaction should you strongly
reject them?
Stalkers commonly shower their victim with unwanted gifts
and letters. They can often use this as means of
blackmailing the victim after they've taken it. It is
recommended that victims document and photograph these
gifts and give them to the police as soon as they've
recorded the materials.
You should always keep written records that document
everything including the dates and times when the stalker
contacts you. These materials will be necessary if you
should happen to go to court. Accurate and detailed records
will greatly help your case should any prosecution arise
from the stalking.
All records should be copied and duplicates should be
submitted to the authorities. Always keep your original
documents stored in a safe place.
What Not To Do
There are often many recommendations for victims of
stalking as to what they should and should not do.
Unfortunately, many of the "should not" tips do the
opposite. They incite the stalker or force the activity to
escalate. So what should a victim do?
Myth: "Obtain a restraining order."
This will give the police documentation that you are
experiencing trouble, but should never give you a false
sense of security. It's a piece of paper. If your stalker
is particularly aggressive, a piece of paper will not stop
them from contacting you. If they are confrontational, a
piece of paper will not stop a physical attack.
Myth: "Change your telephone number."
This is NOT recommended. The stalker will only become more
aggressive if you do this and will try anything to get the
new number.
Instead, get a new number and keep the old one. If
possible, have the old number connected to an answering
machine and the new number can go to your regular
telephones. The stalker will still feel they are in contact
with you and you won't have to answer calls or deal with
it. Eventually, the calls will decrease.
Myth: "Move to a new house. Change jobs"
Either change should only be last resort. If you move, be
certain you contact everyone, from your employer to the DMV
and Voter records, demand they never release your telephone
number or address. Be sure to eliminate your information
from the search engines before you move. Type in your name
and see what information comes up. Google and other such
engines will offer ways to remove your information from
their listing.
Myth: "Talk to them. You might reason with them."
Do not talk with them. That is precisely what they want.
They will not listen to reason. Many people make the
mistake of believing they can somehow talk the stalker out
of stalking. You will not. Stalking is a behavior that
requires professional help to eliminate. Your stalker will
hear the opposite of what you are saying. "Stop talking to
me," will likely come through as, "talk to you tomorrow."
Myth: "Let your friends know."
This is true. Your stalker will depend on your humiliation.
They will want all those around you to think you are
"crazy." It helps their mission. They may even tell their
victim, "No one will believe you." Tell anyway. Tell your
closest friends, family, and employer. They count on your
remaining silent. After you have amassed proof, it will be
difficult for them to roll their eyes at you.
Stalking doesn't have to be a silent suffering. You can be
forthright and still keep your life relatively normal. If
people don't believe you, don't berate yourself. You tried.
Stand your ground and eventually the behavior will vanish.
----------------------------------------------------
Mike Rao writes on Crime Prevention and Personal Safety
Topics.
His websites:
http://www.peppersprayking.com
http://www.personalprotectionproductsofohio.com
EasyPublish this article: http://submityourarticle.com/articles/easypublish.php?art_id=48525
0 comments
Post a Comment