Getting engaged is usually one of the happiest times in our
life. It is exciting, a time to be hopeful for the future.
However sometimes we are confused when we are not met with
the enthusiasm and joy we feel when we tell others of our
big news.
Realize that everyone may not be happy of this
announcement. Consider this before telling people so you
are not surprised if you happen to get any less than
favorable reactions.
Sometimes our friends are not as happy for us as we thought
they would be. They may be upset if they do not like your
fiancé, if they feel that for some reason this in
not the best match. Friends can be fiercely protective of
one another so it is possible that they may voice their
concerns, even if they never did so in the past. It is
important to listen to what they have to say and not to
dismiss it out of hand. Try not to interrupt them, argue or
stop listening to them before they are finished. Once they
are done respond to what they have to say, if what they
said needs to be thought about let them know. Finish by
letting them know that you appreciate their concern for you
and are thankful of their friendship.
However, sometimes the problem has nothing to do with your
relationship and it actually because your friends may be
envious of you. I know it is hard to believe as they should
be happy for you but they may wish they were in your
situation. They may wish they had the person with whom to
spend the rest of their lives with, or wish their
significant other would pop the question. For those friends
who are already married they may wish they could be at that
point in their life again where everything is ahead of them
or they may even be jealous of all the extra attention you
will be getting over the next several months leading up to
the wedding.
A negative response from your parents is different. Your
parents will not be jealous of you, but they do want the
best for you. They may be upset because they do not think
your choice in spouse is the right one for you, they may
feel you two have not known each other long enough or that
this is not the right time for you to get married.
Hopefully your parents will be happy for you and
congratulate you but telling parents is different than
friends and the response may be different as well. Even if
they are happy for you they may attack you with question
after question which you may not be ready to answer yet. If
this is the case you should let them know that you are not
ready to go into all the planning details yet, do not let
them pressure you into committing to anything or telling
them anything you are not ready to.
If you already know your parents will be unhappy because
they have already expressed dislike of your fiancé
it would be best if you told them alone. Spare your
fiancé the negative and hurtful things that may come
from your parents.
Be sure to make your parents aware that you have already
made up your mind and nothing they can say will change it.
Let them know that you love and appreciate that they are
concerned for you and your well being but that you are an
adult and you must make this decision for yourself.
If the angry parents are your future in-laws try not to be
too upset. They may have no direct problem with you but may
be taking it out on you; you may not know why they are
really upset. Just remember that it is you and your
fiancés opinion on the subject which is most
important and you choose to get married.
If either sets of parents do heavily disapprove it would be
wise to not go to them for money. Do not ask for or accept
any money from individuals who are truly against this
union. However you should let them know that even though
they do not need to contribute monetarily to the wedding
that they are still important to you and you would like
them involved in your special day.
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