How do myths get started? They're basically stories that
take form as fact when they are repeated but rarely
questioned by people who appear to have some authority on
the subject. People make decisions and assess relationships
based on myths and this can be frustrating, disappointing
and even destructive. Expectations become skewed and
distorted because people are influenced and guided by
information that is not only untrue, but also sets
ridiculous standards that are not based in reality. Myths
are particularly prevalents and can be damaging when it
comes to single parents dating with kids in the mix.

The challenges of dating when you already have children,
are countless. The myths that couples experience in step
dating are also not unlike the ones experienced in step
families. And therefore having good information, fact not
fiction, about what you can and should expect, is even more
important. Instead of the couple enjoying the luxery of
concentrating solely on each other, they have to nurture
their new relationship while balancing time with kids who
may be transitioning between households. They have to
figure out the relationship dynamics with the kids, and be
aware of the multiple missteps and pitfalls that can derail
the new dating relationship. And most importantly, they
have to understand that the success and sustainability of a
new dating relationship is dependent on having realistic
expectations, being flexible as the relationship evolves,
being proactive about the challenges and understanding myth
expectations versus reality.

Some of the common myths that impact on single parents
dating are:

1. Myth Expectation: We should love each other's children
as much as we love each other And/or we should love our
partner's children as we would our own.

Reality: Just because dating single parents develop a close
and loving relationship, it doesn't mean that they will
instantly or ever love each other's children. Relationships
take time and when kids are less than impressed when a
parent starts to date, this can slow the process of
becoming close and connected. Over time, as friendship and
trust grow, a deeper relationship may develop between a
partner and the kids, but understand it can't be
manufactured just because the parents have great chemistry.
Love for the kids may follow and when it does it's a huge
bonus, but it should not be a condition for the adult
relationship. In lieu of love, dating partners, can care
for the well-being of their partner's children, and have
respect for what is in their best interests. This creates a
much more solid foundation for the success of the
relationship and the well-being of the children involved,
than the perceived need for love.

2. Myth Expectation: We'll be one big happy family, like
the Brady Bunch, if we spend a lot of time together.

Reality: Kids need time to adjust to a new dating
relationship and the worst thing is to throw them
immediately or constantly into the mix. They may feel
insecure, displaced or even threatened by the loss of time
and attention because of a new love interest, so it's
important to spend time alone with them and maintain the
security of consistency around their schedule at home.
Slowly introduce a new partner and gradually spend time
together, being aware of the child's comfort level. There
are distinct stages of development in transitioning into a
new relationship and they are different for everyone; kids
especially need to move slowly. Remember, they are not
usually on the same emotional time table as the couple is

3. Myth Expectation: We need to be equal partners in
co-parenting our kids.

Reality: The biological parent has the singular job of
disciplining and the dating partner should act only as a
friend, assuming the role of coach or mentor. It's
acceptable to emotionally support a dating partner in their
parenting role, but taking an active part in disciplining a
partner's kids is guaranteed to inspire resistance in the
child, and ultimately resentment between dating partners.
It should be avoided at all costs. The issue of children
and discipline should be discussed early on so there is no
confusion about who is in the parental role. Most often
people don't talk about these issues and just hope things
will go well; but this is a recipe for disaster and can
create even more confusion for the child(ren) involved.

4. Myth Expectation: Our deep love for each other and
devotion to the relationship will take care of any
challenges we come up against.

Reality: Single parents dating with kids in the mix face a
multitude of challenges on many different levels. Although
it's romantic to believe that problems and issues will work
themselves out because of the power of love, the reality is
the more informed couples are, the more prepared they will
be to deal with inevitable hiccups. Being aware of issues,
understanding the reality of myths, knowing what to
anticipate and how to take action is a more effective
relationship insurance policy than depending solely on the
magic of love. Love is undeniably an important aspect of
any relationship, but awareness, acceptance, commitment and
the willingness to take the time necessary to get to know
each other and to begin to appreciate what is required in a
relationship that involves children, are absolutely
critical ingredients for success.

The Dating Myths that single parents and singles face when
children are in the mix, are but one aspect of dating after
divorce. Having a reality check goes a long way towards
debunking these and other myths and is an important first
step in establishing more realistic expectations for your
step dating relationships. As two people vision how they
see things evolving over time and set realistic and
developmentally appropriate expectations, they will be
taking the first steps in creating happy, healthy and
sustainable relationships that are good for everyone
involved.

----------------------------------------------------
Yvonne Kelly, MSW, RSW is a Certified Stepfamily Coach and
a Licensed Relationship Coach. She founded The Step and
Blended Family Institute. Yvonne coaches step dating
couples with children, offers Remarriage Preparation and
coaches existing stepfamilies to achieve success. To learn
more about how to safeguard your step relationships or to
find out more about the myths that threaten step dating
relationships go to
http://www.stepinstitute.ca

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Are you a busy person who seems to be at work more than you
are at home? Are you short on time and as a result short on
a companion to share your life with? In the world we live
in where our lives seem to be moving so fast that we are
running to catch up it comes as no surprise that so many
people are single simply because they just don't have time
to find a partner. That is why using one of those internet
dating sites is such a good idea for those who lead busy
and hectic lives.

An internet dating site is a place on the internet that you
can search for someone to spend time with 24 hours per day.
So if you are a busy person who only has time to search for
that special someone at 2am then you can do that with an
internet dating site.

To find your perfect someone on an internet dating site you
will first need to set up your own profile. Make sure to
take the time and invest into your profile. Think about the
things you want to tell people about yourself. Remember
that this is what will make your first impression. So be
confident, honest and of course be yourself. Don't lie or
stretch the truth about anything. If you do then once you
find that someone who might just be perfect and then you
meet they will realize that you are not who you said you
were.

Once your profile is set up, you then need to start
searching for someone who might be perfect for you. Don't
just look for a pretty face, make sure to read their
profile too. No one wants a standard message sent their
way. They want to read emails from people who actually took
the time to read what they had wrote.

These websites were once considered the last resort for
losers in the game of love, are now de riqeur, if not even
unrivaled as a destination for people serious about finding
a match. There's no doubt this is not our grandparents
world where dating and even marriages were arranged. Now,
we are all empowered to openly share the traits we seek in
a mate as well as proclaim our own oddities as endearing
quirks.

Internet dating sites are a great way to meet new people.
Just make sure to be safe on the internet and never give
out your personal information until you are sure you want
to meet a person.

----------------------------------------------------
Molly Murphy is an online dating and romance expert who has
helped countless couples and can help you find your match
in friendship and romance online.
http://DoTheMatch.com

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Stalking has been portrayed countless times in movies and
literature alike. The young, pretty girl is always pursued
by a crazed madman who simply loves her because he believes
she is beautiful and then we see the happy, cut-and-dried
ending we so often watch.

This is far from the reality of stalking. Stalking is not a
fictional event nor is it something that only happens to
the young and wealthy. Stalking is an event that occurs
everyday to persons of every race and every status level.
It is not something "reserved" for celebrities or
individuals in positions of power.

Stalking is a crime that strikes countless individuals on a
daily basis. These events go fairly unreported, unnoticed,
and only in the worst cases do media devote real attention
to this issue. Some victims have been stalked for longer
than a decade without legal assistance. How is this
possible? Because in stalking, the victim must show proof.
They must prove that they feel threatened and intimidated
in a court of law.

Luckily, there are many methods of protecting yourself from
stalkers and their intimidation. The first step to take is
to understand that all stalkers want one thing: to isolate
their victims. They want their victim to feel completely
and utterly isolated from friends and family.

When you are isolated, or feel isolated, the stalker will
be the individual who is there. They want your complete and
undivided attention. In rare cases this can end up turning
into cases involving rape and murder.

Stalkers do not see their victims the same way others do.
This has caused more stalking victims more misery than
perhaps anything. People in general assume you must be
young, amazingly attractive, famous, or wealthy to have a
stalker. Many victims have been humiliated when they
attempt to confide in others because they don't meet one or
more of the aforementioned "criteria." Victims have been
labeled "paranoid," "arrogant," or even "crazy."

This is the precise reaction that stalkers expect and hope
for. It all revolves around isolation. They want people
telling their victims as many negative and hateful things
as possible.

Stalkers "see" what they want to see. The majority of these
cases require professional help to overcome because the
issues causing the attraction are so deeply hidden. The
stalker may not even understand why they are behaving in
the way they do. No victim should ever attempt to
rehabilitate a stalker, even if they are qualified.

Understanding the facts and behaviors behind the act of
stalking is a powerful tool in preventing it in the future,
for all future victims.

----------------------------------------------------
Mike Rao writes on Crime Prevention and Personal Safety
Topics.
His websites:
http://www.peppersprayking.com
http://www.personalprotectionproductsofohio.com

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If you're reading this article, then you're probably going
through a pretty difficult period in your life right now.
The relationship you had with that great girl you were
dating has come to an end, and you feel powerless to do
anything about it. In fact, anything you do seems to push
her farther away. I want you to take a breath and keep an
open mind as you read what I'm about to share with you.
The following are a series of steps I took when I was in
your position, which helped me get my ex girlfriend back.
Since then, I've had friends use the method with great
success and that's why I decided to write an article about
it.

Now, let's begin.

The four steps of the Paint Method are as follows:

1) Separation Period
2) Painting Class
3) Initial Communication
4) Face to Face Meeting

Step 1: Separation Period

The first step in getting your ex girlfriend back is to cut
off all communication for a period of two weeks. This may
sound counterintuitive at first since you're probably
thinking to yourself, if I stop calling/texting/emailing
her, she'll forget about me easier and move on. You want
to hold on to any connection there may still be - but
don't. Resist. The reason for this step is two-fold.
First it stops you from digging you're hole deeper. Face
it, everything you've been doing up to this point hasn't
worked so your stopping it is obviously better than
continuing it. Second, it lends credibility to step two.
In general, women make these types of decisions based on
their emotions and the emotion your ex girlfriend is
probably feeling right now is frustration with the status
quoe. She doesn't like how she feels in the relationship
anymore and part of that is based on her perception that
things (you) can't/won't change. Taking a two week
separation will allow her to think that maybe something has
changed. Now obviously not a lot of change can take place
in two weeks, but you've got to give her a reason to
believe something might have changed. If she believes
this, she'll be more willing to reopen the door.

A word of caution: it's possible she'll try and contact
you before the two weeks go by. This is natural as she'll
notice that your pattern has changed- you've stopped
initiating contact and she'll wonder why. This is one of
the moments where you'll feel the urge to reengage- to show
your cards and tell her how much you miss her. And she'll
make it quite enticing. After all, she knows your buttons
and she'll be willing to push them to find out if she's
really losing control of the situation. You must not
reengage. I repeat, you must not reengage. If she
calls, tell her you're on your way out the door and you
can't talk. If she texts- respond but use very short one
or two word texts, etc. The idea is to communicate to her
that you've got other important things in your life you
need to focus on. In short, prematurely rebuff her
communications- but nicely.

Step 2 Painting Class- During the Two-week Break

Now this step may seem odd for a lot guys, but I want you
to follow me for a second. When my girlfriend broke up
with me, I was distraught. I didn't know what to do with
myself - thinking about her non-stop. So I decided to do
something off the wall. I went to a local art store that
offered painting classes, and took a class in which
everyone painted the same the same picture during the
class. Over the course of a two hour period, I painted a
pretty cool painting. And I actually had something to show
for it when I left.

The reason for this step is it's something that your
ex-girlfriend would never expect you to do. When she finds
out from you after two weeks that you painted something in
a class, it will throw her for a loop. She'll ask herself,
what does this mean? And that's what you want her to do,
because it allows you to fill in the blank: you've
changed. There's a side of you she never know about, etc.
Guaranteed, she'll want to figure it out. The other aspect
of this step is that it's tangible. It's not just you
"telling" her you've changed. You actually have proof-
something that you can go on and on about, she has to see
with her own eyes. This will set up the pretense for the
face to face meeting which comes in Step 4.

Step 3 Initial Communication

This step is the first consequential communication you'll
have with your ex-girlfriend after the two weeks have
passed and you've taken the class. You'll send her an
email asking her how she's been doing. Then you go into
how things have been picking up for you and that you even
took a painting class and put together the coolest
painting. Express real enthusiasm for your achievement and
tell her that you're looking forward to getting more into
painting.

Another thing you'll want to do in this email is tell her
about a cool female friend you made during the class.
Don't make this up- actually strike up a conversation with
any woman in the class- old or young. The important is
that you not give up to much information to your ex. Just
throw in a sentence or two about a cool girl who took the
class that you found interesting. Don't overdo it. Less
is definitely more in this case. Women get insanely
jealous anytime they hear about you interacting with
another woman. Sprinkle this in lightly and move on.

Finally, tell her that she'll get a kick out of seeing the
painting and that she should stop by sometime to see it
hanging on the wall in your home. Again, this is the
beauty of this method. It sets up a credible reason for
you and her to meet up and it's not just that you miss her
so much...

Step 4 Face to Face Meeting

If you've done all the previous steps as outlined, chances
are you'll find yourself showing your ex-girlfriend your
painting in your home. This is another one those critical
points that you have to be cautious. During this whole
interaction, she'll be trying to figure out what's changed.
Have you really moved on? And who is this mysterious girl
you met in class? Most of all, she'll be trying to figure
if she's lost control. And to do this she'll pull out all
the stops to get you to reveal that you still want her.
She might even try and get physical. Your job is to
maintain a detached, friendly and confident demeanor. Just
keep focused on the painting. Tell her about how you've
learned about yourself, etc. Under no circumstances are
you to tell her that you did any of this for her. If you
do, she'll be gone before you can turn around. Now be
prepared because this is a difficult step. Try and keep it
as short as possible. Show her the painting, chat a
little, and then tell her you have to take off to take care
of some things. Show her to the door. It might seem
awkward, but the idea is to throw her off. Remember the
whole point of this method is to get her consider the
possibility that things could be different with you. Your
job is to open the door to this possibility.

Conclusion

The Paint Method is designed to change the dynamics between
you and your ex-girlfriend from a situation in which she is
distancing herself from you to one where she wants to get
closer. This is accomplished by you demonstrating a side
of you which she has not seen before. The painting class
serves as vehicle for this purpose and it has the added
benefit of providing tangible evidence. However, keep in
mind that if you get you ex back and things revert back to
how they were in the past, you'll probably end up losing
her again. The key to keeping your girlfriend for the
long-term is to actually take steps to improve yourself.
Develop your other interests. Focus on them instead of her
and you'll have her chasing you.

----------------------------------------------------
I hope this technique works out for you. Feel free to drop
me a line at steven.kls24@gmail.com if you any questions
and please let me know how it works out.
Also, if things don't work out, check out Vin DiCarlo's
dating program. This is truly the way to learn about
dealing with women so that you can have women chasing you.
He offers a ton of free information at:
https://vindicarlo.infusionsoft.com/go/ac/medoeldi/

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Audio books have now become so popular that sales actually
topped the 1 billion dollar mark in 2007, this is double
what they where two years ago, and the trend looks set to
continue upwards. So just why are they so popular and why
are 28% of Americans and Europeans listening to them?

Let us see if we can itemize the benefits of buying an
audio edition as opposed to the printed book.

Firstly: They are a great time saver due to the fact that
you can listen to them just about anywhere and anytime even
when doing other things. I personally like to listen to my
favorite audiobook whilst driving to and from work and have
used this time to further my education, which in my
particular case is learning foreign languages. But you
don't have to be driving to listen to you favorite book,
you could be out walking the dog, cycling, exercising or
doing just about anything. Well not quite anything, it
would be a bit difficult to listen to your favorite audio
book and watch television at the same time.

This brings us to our second benefit: That is simply that
most people love reading but don't have that much time. By
listening to audio when you would not be able to read, for
example when driving, then you are making good use of
otherwise dead time.

If you are ambitious and want to educate yourself to get
ahead in your chosen career then using your commuting time
and listening to audio on your mp3 player or ipod is a good
use of otherwise dead time.

Thirdly: I know this may seem fairly obvious but audio
books are absolutely great for blind people or people with
impaired vision. With audio anyone with any form of
disability can enjoy a book whenever they want.

By listening to spoken books people with visual impairment
can learn new hobbies and help to educate themselves and
simply enjoy listening to their favorite book.

Fourthly: For people recovering in hospital or even older
people who may have problems actually holding a book then
the obvious solution would be an audio book.

If we look closer we can find even more benefits of
listening to our favorite book on audio, such as helping
children with there literacy, but it looks like the spoken
word as opposed to the written word is now here to stay
with more and more people everyday exploring the exciting
world of audio books.

----------------------------------------------------
David Sharp invites you to his Very Best Audio Books
website where you can download audio books from a range of
over 8000 of the most popular audio titles, here at:
http://www.VeryBestAudioBooks.com

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If you are a single person on the dating scene today, there
is an excellent chance you will someday be dating a partner
with children. And of course, if you are already a single
parent dating, you will definitely be in a relationship
that involves your children and potentially your partner's
children. In both cases there are some things you should
know as you head into the step dating realm.

The term Step Dating is applied when two single parents
date or when a single dates a single parent. We refer to
is as "Step" Dating because the dynamics have so much in
common with living in a stepfamily, or a blended family for
that matter.

It is important for single parents and their partners to be
aware of these dynamics in order to navigate a successful
step dating relationship while also safeguarding the rights
and interests of the children. It is particularly important
if they are embarking on a serious commitment that may lead
to remarriage. If it sounds easy, it isn't; just ask anyone
who has been there and they will tell you that there are
many myths that lead people astray and at a basic level, it
is not easy for partners to talk about or address the
somewhat sensitive issues that arise in a step dating
relationship. Let's touch on two common themes that tend to
trip people up, both of which revolve around a
misunderstanding of the role love plays in step
relationships.

1.) Biological parents are of course not just looking for
a potential mate, but are hoping to find someone that could
be a suitable stepparent to his or her children. In doing
so, their enthusiasm about a new relationship, can often
translate into expectations that their dating partner will
"love" their children. This tends to put a lot of pressure
on their partner, whether they have children of their own
or not and it is simply not a very realistic expectation.
It is very important for people to know that loving the
other person's child(ren) is not a prerequisite for a
healthy adult relationship or even for a successful step
family. As the relationship progresses, the requirements
include having a healthy concern for the well-being of your
partner's children, ability to understand, respect and
protect their rights, and a willingness to serve as a role
model and friend to them. But the pressure to bond with
and or love another person's biological children in the
context of a step dating relationship almost always
backfires and actually makes it harder for individuals to
get to know and get close to their partner's children. It
can also create resentment between the partners if
unrealistic expectations go unchecked and unmet.

2.) It is a common misconception in dating relationships
of all kinds, that Love Will Indeed Conquer All. The truth
is, that almost all couples who enter into step dating
relationships and certainly the majority who go on to make
a remarriage commitment, on some level trust that their
love will get them through and yet the stats tell us a very
different story. We have a divorce rate in second
marriages with children that hovers around 50-60% in
Canada 60-70% in the US. So love alone is not saving
second marriages from the clutches of separation and
divorce. When you cite these alarming statistics, people
often respond by saying that "those other couples just
didn't love each other enough", but WE DO! Being
naïve about what is required beyond love in any
relationship, is a recipe for disaster and even more so in
highly complex step relationships.

Love is undeniably very important but learning what you can
expect in your relationship, how to plan for it, and how to
make good relationship choices will significantly increase
your chances of success in step relationships at any stage.
The reality is that step dating relationships and the step
families that often result from them are more complex and
come loaded with challenges that couples must prepare
themselves for, in addition to cultivating and nurturing
their love for one another. The following Seven Steps are
highly recommended to assist couples in making good
relationship decisions and facing challenges they can
expect in a step dating relationship.

1.) Get clear on what type of relationship you are looking
for, what matters to you most and what you are willing to
commit to in a relationship.

2.) Get to know each other and the children involved, Very
Well, over a significant period of time.

3.) Observe how the children respond and interact within
the new relationship.

4.) Learn everything you can about step family dynamics
which are alive and well during the step dating phase.

5.) Discover what your roles with each other's children,
should be at the various stages of relationship development.

6.) Be honest with yourself about whether this is the right
relationship for you. Don't be afraid to recognize red
flags or warning signs that may be telling you this is not
the right relationship for you or for you and your
child(ren). Now is the time to be choosy.

7.) Don't avoid the tough or sensitive issues and if you
are having difficulty discussing certain things with your
partner, seek out professional support to assist you in
having those all too important discussions. If you are
finding yourself resisting asking a question or bringing up
a particular issue, chances are these are the very things
that need to be addressed if the relationship has any
chance of progressing forward.

From step dating through to remarriage and second families,
couples are required to be aware of what, beyond love, is
required to make their relationships work. It begins with
being able to balance the feeling aspects of romance and
love with an emphasis on knowing what you are looking for
in a relationship (your requirements) and making conscious
choices that will satisfy your needs and requirements.
There is a lot at stake for single parents and singles
dating single parents and the importance of balancing your
head's intentions with your heart's inclinations is
undeniably essential.

----------------------------------------------------
Yvonne Kelly is a Certified Stepfamily Coach. She founded
The Step and Blended Family Institute. Yvonne coaches step
dating couples with children, offers Remarriage Preparation
and coaches existing stepfamilies to achieve success. To
learn more about how to safeguard your step relationships
go to
http://www.stepinstitute.ca

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In about 50% of the relationships some kind of cheating is
involved. This is a terrible fact, but numerous
relationships end due to dishonesty from one side or
another more and more these days. Do you desire to know how
to catch a cheater? Here is a simple method of discovering
if your partner or spouse is cheating.

It is not hard to do and you can know in under 2 hours once
you start. To make it simple we have broken this down into
3 steps.

Step One:

This part is the toughest - try to grab your partner's cell
phone (when you won't get caught) for about 10 minutes. You
should be able to do this since it is only for 10 minutes -
just pick a good time.

A few suggestions for doing this are: do it when they are
taking a bath, maybe they will take a trip to the store and
leave it at home, or maybe the best time is when they are
sleeping then take it to a different room to look at it.
You are the best judge of the right times though, these are
just a few samples of how some have done it.

Step Two:

After you get their phone then locate the phone's call
logs. You want to examine all calls whether incoming or
outgoing that have been made.

Even write down all the phone numbers that you find on
these lists. Even if there are numerous calls this should
only take you about 10 minutes - then return the phone to
the place it was.

Step Three:

Here is the last step in discovering if there is suspicious
stuff going on with your relationship.

You need to find who belongs to these phone numbers that
were on your partner's cell phone. This will inform you
what people they have been talking to.

You can find whose phone number it is by looking in the
reverse lookup online phone directory. This is a key point
in helping discover a cheater.

Reverse lookup will give you all the information on the
phone's owner. You will discover not only the person's
identity but also their address and some information on
their background.

A service that specializes in reverse look up will need to
be used for this. They are not too expensive but do cost a
bit of money. Make sure the one you use has a 1-time
membership fee with unlimited amount of look ups. This way
you do not have to pay per number, which is usually more
expensive.

Yes you got it - do a reverse look up on each number you
made a list of and copy the details down. As you are
running the search on the numbers, pay attention to the
list and see if the names or call activity start being
suspicious. If something smells a bit FISHY it will stand
out big time.

This is the simplest of the ways to uncover a cheater and
discover if your boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse is being
true to you. It is a strong, simple way to find the truth
as far as your relationship goes.

----------------------------------------------------
To try a reverse phone lookup to and see how it works, go
to http://www.easyreversephonelookup.com

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Domestic violence abuse is a term that makes most people
uncomfortable. No one likes to think they know someone or
that they themselves are in an abusive relationship.
Thoughts of domestic abuse can cause feelings of despair,
uncertainty and fear.

When filled with fear on a topic it is best to replace that
fear with knowledge. In recognition of Domestic Violence
Awareness Month, Luanna Rodham interviewed Dr. Jeanne King
to help educate people in abusive relationships and
concerned friends and family.

Question: Dr. King, when someone uses the term "domestic
abuse" or "abusive relationship," most people automatically
assume it is a woman who is being abused. Is that a
correct assumption?

No, it is simply the more publicized gender. Most people
will tell you domestic violence is a women's issue, however
statistics show that 37% of domestic abuse victims each
year are in fact men.

I think of it as a human issue. The dynamics of abusive
relationships when the victimized partner is a man are the
same as the dynamics when it is a woman. In my own
psychotherapy practice, the only difference I see between
victimized men and women is the economic resources and the
social political issues surrounding their circumstances.

Question: How would you define an "abusive relationship?"
Does abuse always mean physical?

An abusive relationship is defined as one in which there is
ongoing and intentional violation by one intimate partner
to another. And the primary underlying mechanism
establishing and maintaining the abusive relationship is
control.

Battering is what is used to maintain the dynamic of
unequal power in the relationship. And this battering can
be physical, emotional, psychological or verbal abuse.

Question: What are some signs that a person may be in an
abusive relationship?

Your best indicators are internal. You are usually the
first to know and the last to admit it. On a primal level,
you feel violated and it hurts. You experience yourself as
being oppressed, manipulated, controlled...caged. Much of
the time you live your life as though you are walking on
eggshells.

Your partner will exhibit all of the classic signs of a
batterer, like: possessiveness, excessive jealously,
controlling-manipulative behavior, hypersensitivity, and of
course the behavioral and mood shifts of a Dr. Jekyll /Mr.
Hyde personality.

Question: Dr. King, when a person is in this type of
relationship, is it true that they are very guarded? If
so, how does a person who is being abused find help without
publicizing the problem?

Guarded is not the way I would describe it, but as an
outsider looking in I can see how one might use that word.
I suppose you are referring to her/his cautiousness and
possible display of hyper-vigilance. The conditioning
inherent in the relationship definitely sets a tone for
this.

Concerning getting help... It is always best to seek out
help from individuals and groups that fully understand
domestic violence and all of the safety issues that go
hand-in-hand with this problem. These people will know and
genuinely respect a survivor's need for anonymity. They
will even help victims/survivors protect their anonymity,
rather than give lip service to the need to do so.

Question: When using the term "domestic violence," does
the violence happen to the children as well or primarily to
one of the parents? How does domestic violence affect the
children in the home?

More often than not, if one parent is victimized, children
will be victimized as well. The statistics on this draw
from battered women. It is estimated that 60-70% of men who
batter their female partners also batter their children. In
fact, according to child abuse experts, intimate partner
violence is the best predictor of child abuse. Some
pediatricians say it's the number one indicator of child
abuse.

The answer to this question regarding the impact on
children, Luanna, can fill volumes. Suffice it to say,
domestic abuse is damaging from the inside out, from the
core of your being. And when that being is in its formative
years, development can be impaired profoundly. This
including emotional, social, cognitive, behavioral and
psychological development.

Question: What would be your advice to someone reading
this article that is in an abusive relationship? What
steps should they take now to help themselves?

There are three critical things one must do if you think
you're in a relationship in which there is intimate partner
violence.

1) Identify the condition clearly and accurately, and you
will treat it more effectively and successfully. If you
don't, one day you will treat it like it is alcohol abuse,
and then it may look like partner abuse or narcissistic
personality, or even intermittent explosive disorder. You
can go round and round essentially not treating it at all,
if you fail to diagnose it.

2) Surrender responsibility for the battering behavior. And
this includes accountability for it and responsibility to
"fix" it, as well as one's belief that you have the
wherewithal to fix it. This will enhance prognosis more
than any other therapeutic change.

3) Secure support external to the relationship abuse. The
operative word here is "external." You want an alignment
with a source of support that does not support your own
internal denial or personal confusion, but rather helps you
shine the light on your inner and outer world so clearly
that it escorts you to safety and well-being, before the
abuse spirals out of control.

As confirmed by Dr. King, domestic abuse can be harmful to
the entire family. Diagnosing the problem and recognizing
the effect abuse has on a person and a family is the first
step to recovery. Remember that there is help for a person
in an abusive relationship. And fortunately, there is
always hope.

----------------------------------------------------
For more information about abusive relationships, visit
http://www.PreventAbusiveRelationships.com/ebooks.php and
claim your free Survivor Success Tips and eInsights. Dr.
Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people worldwide recognize, end
and heal from domestic abuse at home and in court. Luanna
Rodham, interviewing Dr. King, is a Virtual Assistant and
Staff Editor for IdeaMarketers.com. Copyright 2008 Jeanne
King, Ph.D. and Luanna Rodham

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Are you throwing a shower and looking for something a
little out-of-the-ordinary? While the traditional kitchen
and linens showers are still appropriate for many brides, a
growing number of women walking down the aisle already have
established households. So what do you do when the bride
really doesn't need another toaster, but you still want to
get together with friends and family to celebrate an
upcoming wedding?

One very non-traditional bridal shower themes is, of
course, the gift-less shower, which is becoming very
popular these days. Many couples just don't need the help
to set up a new home like they once did. These showers can
still bring the guests together for a fun afternoon of
wedding chatter. Games can be played and food served. You
may need to get a bit more creative with the planning so
you'll be sure to fill up time when the bride would
normally open gifts.

Is the idea of guests showing up empty handed not for you?
Instead, try one of these non-traditional themes, perhaps
taking your cues from the bride's interests or hobbies. A
few ideas:

Garden Party - This theme works well if you're having an
outdoor gathering, but you can also bring the garden inside
by using potted plants or flowers as centerpieces and
giving seed packet favors. Give the plants away as prizes
or as favors to save money, plus you won't have a dozen
centerpieces to find homes for afterwards. Your games can
be garden-themed as well - try putting a tablespoon of
different flower and vegetable seeds into sealed bags and
passing them around to quiz the guests' gardening know-how.
Serve fresh fruits and vegetables, either grown in your own
garden or purchased at the local farmers' market. Encourage
the bride to register for gardening tools and supplies at
the local home store, and if guests call you for gift
ideas, suggest potted plants, seeds, gardening tools and
gadgets.

Travel Shower - This is a great theme if the couple loves
to travel! It can be tied in with the honeymoon
destination, if one is planned, or it can focus on other
places the couple hopes to visit. For a really unique
touch, create invitations that look like boarding passes.
Decorate in keeping with the featured locale, and consider
serving cuisine from that part of the world. If the bride
has already travelled extensively, games could test the
group's knowledge of the places she has visited, perhaps
even using some of her own travel photos. Put together a
scrap book (with plenty of room for the couple to add
photos later) and encourage guests to jot down their travel
advice. Ideas for an on-the-go bridal registry can range
from luggage pieces to travel mugs.

Arts and Crafts Shower - Is the bride-to-be crafty? If so,
maybe this is the shower theme for her! Whether she is a
quilter, scrap booker, painter, or something in between,
artists and artisans never have enough supplies and
equipment. Plan a simple project that anyone can do, and
buy enough supplies so that guests can try their hand at
the bride's favorite hobby, thus creating their own party
favor. Mix them up and let the bride (and her mother, maid
of honor, flower girl, etc.) pick her favorite, and award
that person a prize. Ask the bride ahead of time if she
wants to lead the instruction; if not, go through the
process several times yourself so that you're ready for any
questions.

Western Theme Shower - Host a country themed couples shower
in honor of both the bride and groom. Invite couples to
wear farmer's clothes like overalls, blue jeans, bandanas
and cowboy hats. Use hay bales for seats, fruit jars with
handles for drinks, burlap tablecloths and food served in
pie tins. A fun game for this theme is The Newlywed Game,
which is perfect for any theme couples' shower. Other
couples shower themes:

1. Couple's Home Improvement

2. Couple's Backyard Shower - Hosted outdoors with gifts
for the backyard.

3. Multicultural Shower - If the bride and groom are of
different ethnic backgrounds.

----------------------------------------------------
Get more bridal shower ideas here:
http://www.topweddingsites.com/wedding-bridal-showers.html

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Most people go through a breakup at some time in their
lives and the first response is, "how do I get back
together with my ex?" This is a natural feeling that most
everyone has experienced at some Point in his or her life.

You are likely to become depressed and look for ways to
feel better. You will want to run back to your ex as soon
as possible and do anything to get him or her back,
including spying on him or her and their activities. Will
this really help? Probably not and this is not the best
thing to do when dealing with a breakup and could possibly
lead to you destroying your chances of getting your ex back.

Do not let your emotions rule you at this time! You will
want to call and talk to your ex. Do not do this and please
don't lie around, cry all day, and isolate yourself from
the world! Pick yourself up and use these three tips to
help you go on with your life and resolve all your
questions concerning "How do I get back together with my
ex?"

1. Accept the fact that you are no longer a couple

Yes, you are broken up now - you have to come to terms with
the fact that you are alone. Make sure your ex realizes you
are all right with the separation and ready to go on with
your life. This step will help alleviate feelings of anger
and relieve some of the tension between the two of you.
This will also give both of you time to think things over
and look at the relationship in the proper perspective.
This backing off process will let your ex decide whether he
or she is really in love with you and wants to reconcile.

2. Do not stalk or talk to your ex!

You need to stay away from your ex for a while and sort
things out in your own mind. Do not allow any communication
between the two of you. You both need time to think. If you
do this you are saying you can live without him or her and
going on with your life.

Your ex will need time to think about how much they want
the relationship. Give them the time they need to miss you.
Wait until you are recovered enough to realize who you are
as a person and then you can safely confide in them how
much you believed in the relationship. Trust me - this is
a huge step in getting them to miss you!

3. Plan to Talk Things Over

The next thing to do is plan the get together meeting. Make
sure you have successfully worked through the first two
steps. Decide on a time and place to meet your ex. Next,
consider carefully what you and your ex should discuss at
this meeting. You need to find out if your ex still cares
about you and wants to get back together, but you can't
appear too needy!

----------------------------------------------------
For more information about how to set up a meeting with
your ex, check out http://www.get-your-ex.com . Here
you'll find a step-by-step action plan that you can use to
get them back in your life.

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Is it Friday night and you're home alone again? Are you
still buying single packs of microwave meals because you're
eating for one? Finally, is there only one side of that bed
that needs to be remade each morning? So, we've established
that you're single but are you looking? If so, this article
is for you.

In order to find that special someone with whom you'd like
to develop a long-term relationship and perhaps end in a
life-long commitment you must begin at the beginning. That
is to say, you must get out and be a part of the dating
world. You'll never know if you've met Mr. or Ms. Right if
you haven't dated a few Mr. or Ms. Wrongs! The question
then becomes where do you find decent dating material?
Perhaps you have a wonderful group of friends who can keep
you supplied with prospective suitors. No? Well, then
certainly you run with a group of friends who are part of
the weekend bar scene. Not the best pool of the opposite
sex from which to choose? Drunk and disorderly just not
your type? Then, perhaps, your last, and best resort may be
dating matchmaking services.

Dating matchmaking businesses have become all the rage over
the last few years. Some have offices in busy metropolitan
areas but most are found on the great virtual highway also
known as the internet. The results are the following. What
was once left to happenstance, that of meeting and
considering a person as someone you would like to get to
know better by going on a date, has become less than a
crapshoot. What was once left to chance, has become more a
guarantee. Let me tell you how. Dating matchmaking services
operate much the same as matchmaking agencies overall.
Their goal is to pair two people with common interests and
personalities in the hopes they are suited and pursue a
long-term relationship.

You begin by filling out a profile that asks you to share
your hopes and dreams and goals in life. You are also asked
to inform the dating matchmaking service of the type of
person you seek to spend time with. What type of look are
you going for - tall, short, black, white, bald, or hairy.
Next, the matchmaking service takes this information and
aligns it with other people seeking a date. Trust me,
there's someone out there for you and the dating
matchmaking agency will be there to help you find him or
her!

----------------------------------------------------
Molly Murphy is an online dating and romance expert who has
helped countless couples and can help you find your match
in friendship and romance online.
http://DoTheMatch.com

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It's all fine and good to say that you're not going to get
caught up in the craziness of the holiday season this year.
The only little snag with this picture is: You actually
like to buy presents, bake cookies, and, well, cook.
However, there are some nice shortcuts you can take that
will take nothing from the fun of the party, but will allow
you to stay more relaxed and keep stress from ruining your
good time!

Plan Ahead. Don't forget to ask your guests ahead of time
if they have special dietary requirements or preferences
(allergies, vegetarian, etc). Decide ahead of time what you
want to cook, and ensure that you have all the ingredients
on hand. You can even go as far as to cook some of the
meals beforehand and thereby save yourself a lot of stress.

Try Fewer Side Dishes. There are loads of creative recipes
for this time of the year and it is a lot of fun to have a
feast, but you can save yourself quite a bit of time and
effort by cutting down on the side dishes. Just pick a
salad or two, home-made bread, and make a lot of them. This
way, while there's less variety, there's plenty of food.

Let Others Help. Another fun way to simplify your meal is
to let others help with the cooking. Ask friends to make a
favorite dish and bring the recipe to share. You'll have
dinner taken care of and plenty of new entries for your
cookbook. This lets everyone feel good that they've
contributed to the joy of the feast and saves you a lot of
time and effort.

For a more interesting table, use usual things in unusual
ways such as a child's inflatable water ring to hold
plates, a birdhouse feeder to hold napkins, and clay pots
to hold bread.

Greet all guests in person at the door. This will remove
any uncomfortable moments where the guest wonders if they
should just come in, where to put their items, etc. Give
them a brief tour of where the food, smoking area, and
restrooms are and then direct them to where you want to
maintain your guests. Most people will choose a living room
or parlor, though with warmer weather, you may choose an
outdoor party.

Don't forget about your designated drivers and non-drinking
friends! Keep a supply of fun and festive non-alcoholic
drinks on hand.

Set up a drink and dessert bar. Do it ahead of time and it
allow your guests to help themselves.

Allow yourself sufficient time to dress and relax before
your guests arrive and your party begins and remember most
importantly have some fun!

----------------------------------------------------
An interactive kitchen to share ideas, inspirations and
tips about cooking, crafts and life.We love cooking from
scratch and crEATing new delights in the kitchen. Reveal
the kitchen goddess in you...find out more at
http://www.foodcreations.co.za

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Thanks to the proliferation of global communications, not a
single soul should be, well, single these days. All but the
most isolated populations have access to cell phones, high
definition televisions, personal and portable music devices
such as the iPod, and, of course, the internet.

Arguably the most life altering contrivance, the world wide
web validated the concept of a global village. There is no
question, or for that matter, answer that cannot be found
on-line. People consult the internet to answer all their
problems so it would naturally come to pass that its power
would be harnessed to broker relationships.

Matchmaking websites, once considered the last resort for
losers in the game of love, are now de riqeur, if not even
unrivaled as a destination for serious suitors. There's no
doubt this is not our grandparents world where dating and
even marriages were arranged. Now, we are all empowered to
openly share the traits we seek in a mate as well as
proclaim our own oddities as endearing quirks.

For those of you looking to jump into the dating game in a
serious way, matchmaking websites offer the subscriber a
multiplicity of companions from which to choose and also a
protracted list of options you may be seeking in your
'significant other'. Are you looking for a husband that
loves dogs? Must your wife be a gourmet cook? Would you
like counterpart to be adventurous, neat, kind, brunette,
short, tall, fit, bald, smart, well-read, a music-lover, a
non-music lover? Should I go on?

I could you know because the variety of website
destinations that cater to singles in search of a lifelong
partner are nearly as numerous as the list of 'must-haves'
you could be seeking in that special someone.

Knowing this, before you decide to narrow down your search
for the best online matchmaking service, take some time to
create a mental facsimile of the type of person you would
like to settle down with. Don't be hasty. Consider your own
life and the kinds of things that would complement it.
Next, familiarize yourself with the top ten matchmaking
websites.

Consider the cost, their reputation, their services, their
promises and their perks. After all, finding the perfect
matchmaking website is almost as challenging as finding the
perfect mate!

When you're sure you've found the right matchmaking website
for you, then sign your name on their dotted line and say,
"I do". Good luck!

----------------------------------------------------
Molly Murphy is an online dating and romance expert who has
helped countless couples and can help you find your match
in friendship and romance online.
http://DoTheMatch.com

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There you are mesmerized by this beauty a few feet from
you. You can't take your eyes off her. She may be at the
end of the bar, walking down a street or talking to another
person in a place you would never think of approaching her
in. You want to say something. You want to approach her.
You want to get her number.

Suddenly your mouth gets dry, your hands start to feel
moist and your brain gives you a hundred reasons to just
look away. So what do you do? Give up and run to fight
another day (and beat yourself up for it for the next week)
or breathe deep, bite the bullet and approach her even
though you don't know the best way of doing this -
especially beautiful ones?

This is a scenario that almost every man faces at least
once (if not every week) in their lives. It can be hard for
men to approach girls and even harder when it comes to
picking up women how are beautiful. The art of picking up
women has become much harder since females became more
independent and selective in their choice of partners. The
21st century male really has his work cut out for him!

So here are a few tips for picking up women that you may
not have used before.

- Where have you been looking for the perfect girl? Do you
know that very few girls meet their partner in a bar? Think
of the type of woman you want to spend time with. What does
she like doing? What are her interests? Picking up women is
easier when you meet them in places that interest them,
while you are doing things they find interesting. Being
passionate about what you love is one of the easiest
methods to seduce beautiful girls. So seek out girls in
places where they will appreciate the things you enjoy
doing!

- Don't rush in! Review the situation first. Has she
noticed you? Did she look over? Many men refuse to believe
a beautiful woman may be interested in them. When it comes
to picking up women the same rules that apply to
approaching average looking girls apply to beautiful girls
as well.

- Attempt to catch her eye. When she looks at you smile
back. Do not look away nervously! Stay relaxed but try not
to stare at her. Just smile naturally not with a wide
Cheshire cat grin. Being natural and confident is the key
to getting girls attention.

- Don't overdo it! Look away and give her a second to
access the situation and you. After a few minutes you can
make your move.

- If she looks at you there is a chance. If she smiles
you're onto a winner. If she looks away shyly or
immediately talks to her friend and her friend looks over
this is a good sign. But don't expect her to approach you!
If you're in a bar send over a drink first. Then wait for
about 5 minutes before approaching her! If you are in a
special interest setting start talking to her about it.

- However, when picking up women there is on occasions
reason to act quickly. You should act quickly if she looks
bored. This is the only time you should ignore the tip
above. If she looks bored or annoyed with her company just
act! Opportunities are available everyday but they only
turn into successes if you act!

- Girls love confident, bold men. Only 20% of a woman's
attraction to a man is based on physical appearance. This
is an important point when it comes to picking up women.

- If you think confidently you will naturally act
confidently. When picking up women it is important to
project confidence. Therefore while you are preparing to
approach just quickly imagine a positive outcome in your
mind. See yourself successfully approaching, laughing with
her and getting her number. This will put you immediately
into a more confident frame of mind which will be reflected
in your body language.

- The above technique should also be used when you are not
in the company of anyone else - as a sort of practice run.
It is an invaluable technique when it comes to picking up
women. Visualize yourself being confident around girls and
successful with beautiful ones. Visualize this every night
just before you drift off to sleep. Although you may not
realize the power of this exercise trust me when I tell you
that it will increase your chances of picking up women by
1000%! Women know if you are confident or faking it so this
little technique will dramatically improve your confidence
and belief in yourself.

Follow the above advice and you will do well in the dating
game and will get to meet many beautiful and interesting
girls.

----------------------------------------------------
Other sites of interest:
http://www.seduce-her.net/picking-up-women1.html - Picking
Up Women has never been easier with this guide. Written by
a beautiful award-winning author it outlines how to attract
and date beautiful girls. Video advice on the Picking Up
Women
guide they tried to ban can be seen at
http://www.seduce-her.net/picking-up-women.html

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Getting Your Ex Back: A How To

It happens to everyone - a breakup. It isn't working out,
she (or he) dumps you, and you're feeling listless. The
world has lost its vigor, you feel like everything's out
there to make you miserable, and more. The usual, and
sensible, course is to have a few beers, talk about old
times with your buddies, and move on, letting the heartache
heal on its own.

There is an alternative, if you're really determined to get
your ex back. Maybe it's watching too many romantic
comedies (where the usual plot is Boy Meets Girl, Boy Loses
Girl, Boy Gets Girl Back), or maybe is that there's a deep
bond there that you're not willing to give up. There's a
set of steps to follow, and they don't follow the Hollywood
script.

The first step is to be realistic about what went wrong the
first time. This isn't a self-flagellation party, nor is
it a "blame the ex" party. It's looking back at what
caused each of you to act in the ways that triggered the
breakup. You can't change the past, but by studying it,
you aren't doomed to repeat it.

If the break was over a single event, your odds are better
for getting back together. You have to be coldhearted and
look at why the event happened and how to prevent it from
happening again. Was it over money? Or a missed date, or
disliking some of their friends or relatives? Look into
ways to prevent this from biting you again. If the breakup
happened because of things you did that were constantly
grating, it's going to be harder - you have to convince
them that you've changed. Whatever

Next comes presentation. Don't be needy. Nothing drives
someone away faster than a needy person whining at them.
Yes, they'll listen for a while, out of pity. But pity is
not a foundation for a relationship renewal, it's a toxin
that will make your relationship go sour. Yes, everyone
feels like they can't live without their ex. You're going
to have to act like you can to have a chance at getting
them back. Stay strong, grow a life of your own, and let
that interesting life lure them back.

Beware the green eyed monster that mocketh man, as
Shakespeare called it. Do not let jealousy even enter into
your strategic thinking. If your ex is dating someone
else, let them be. Wish them well. Don't get stalker on
them. Don't comment on it. Don't talk about how you'd do
it better. All you're doing is showing that you haven't
moved on, and reinforced that they have and that they
should stay as far away from you as possible. Remember,
time heals all wounds. So take some time to heal yours
before ripping the bandages off with your ex.

----------------------------------------------------
It's time to show your ex that you're above that and by
doing so, you will get them to miss you. Check out
http://www.get-back-with-ex.com to get full details on a
plan you can use to get your ex to come back to you

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It is easy for women to look online and find a host of
resources on internet dating safety. It isn't so easy for
men to find the same quality information. The dangers of
internet dating are just as possible for both genders,
although the danger often differs.

One of the most horrific trends that are gaining popularity
are the crimes against gay individuals. There have been
some straight men who sign up at dating communities for gay
individuals with the intent of finding and assaulting them.
These have resulted in hospitalizations and, in the worst
cases, deaths.

Straight men see hazards from dating communities, but not
in the same way. The dangers for them involve robbery,
theft, and other forms of manipulation. There are reports
that heterosexual men have been attacked for their money.
They meet a women online, maintain a relationship, and
eventually meet in a restaurant. All seems to go well. Yet,
at the end of the evening, when they leave to go to their
car, a group of men will be waiting.

How can you protect yourself? There are several steps to
take to avoid these situations.

1. Watch for suspicious activity.

Keep your eyes open to anything that may suspicious, no
matter how minor. Are there others in the restaurant who
seem to know the person you're with? Is your date open and
honest about who they are? Do they seem more nervous than
they should be? Do they look around the restaurant as if
they're looking for someone, or don't want to be seen?

2. Don't Rush.

Don't rush a relationship you have online. Give everything
time to develop.

3. Be wary of false identities.

Remember that photographs of people are a dime-a-dozen
online. You can visit any of the free stock photography
sites and find pictures of any type of person imaginable.
Don't take their profile picture at face value. One of the
primary reasons for the need to wait when it comes to
online relationships is the rampant use of false identities
and false information. Current estimates state that around
30% of all people on dating sites are, in fact, married.

4. Do a background check.

This may be the most important action you can take when
deciding to date someone you meet on the internet. Check
them out. Do both a background check and a criminal
background check. It is common to find individuals on
internet dating sites who have had criminal histories.

Both men and women should be cautious of internet dating
sites. It is possible to find love online and there are
many marriages daily that come from finding one another
online. But, the anonymity also means you should protect
yourself and take the necessary precautions.

----------------------------------------------------
Mike Rao writes on Crime Prevention and Personal Safety
Topics.
His websites:
http://www.peppersprayking.com
http://www.personalprotectionproductsofohio.com

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America is the greatest country in the world because it is,
in my belief, blessed by God as a beacon of individual
freedom, a place where anything your mind can imagine and
believe you can achieve.

It promises to any and everyone who is willing to work
hard, a fair and impartial opportunity to achieve what is
known world wide as the "American dream".

This is the country that has people around the world lined
up at our Embassies with the hope and dreams of coming to
America to participate in this "American dream." Many have
risked and given their lives in this effort.

Some Americans have achieved the American Dream, but
despite the advances of race relationships since Dr. Martin
Luther King Jr., led the Civil Rights Movement in the
1960's, far too many have not.

The largest majority of those who have not, are Blacks and
other American Minorities.

It is clear that the notion and practice of racism in
America has stacked the deck against any reasonable
expectation of economic gains and the achievement of the
American Dream against Minorities, making all efforts for
success a lot harder then it should be.

The social-economic system has been programmed for
minorities to fail, educationally, socially and
economically. When they do fail, in a capitalistic system
such as ours that worships winners, they are unfairly
criticized for failing and being unable to measure up to
the performance standards of the American society.

Despite the tremendous progress America has made, that is
supported by a majority of Americans, in providing equality
and equal opportunities for all of its citizens, racism,
and racist attitudes are still alive and well.

These racist attitudes are serious, and have kept America
divided into the two America's that formal Presidential
Candidate John Edwards so frequently spoke about during his
campaign.

The two Americas he was talking about are one White, one
Black, one living the American Dream while the other has
been disenfranchised, pushed into social and economic
obscurity, poverty and second class citizenship, and is
living the American Nightmare, in abject poverty in ghettos
all around America.

All of this pain is based on racism fueled by false
information about race being determined by the color of
your skin which is totally not true.

We as Americans are divided nationally in just about every
way imaginable. We are divided politically, racially,
within ourselves, and worst of all we are divided
spiritually and racially within our churches.

For example, most of you probably don't know that the two
Americas mentioned above are never more apparent then on
Sunday morning in America, which is probably the most
segregated day of the week, when we are all in church.

Given the fact that segregation in our churches on Sunday
are often by choice, sometime it is dictated by our
particular faith and geographical locations of the
churches. However, I think for some, the belief and faith
in racial prejudice is stronger than their faith in God.

The evil attitude of racism is not a respecter of person,
all Americans are affected by its devastating influence in
some way, especially if you are Black or one of the other
American Minorities.

The cost of racism in the lives of Blacks, White Americans
and other Minorities affected by its influence is
incalculable in terms of human suffering, the loss of life,
opportunities and destroyed dreams.

Racism has been the source of too many tragic human
experiences in America's past and present.

It is time to tell the truth about race, and put an end to
this lie and nightmare forever.

If your skin is Black or the color of any of the other
Minorities, you have probably been told that you are of a
different race, and that you are inferior to Whites.

On the other hand, if you are White you have probably been
told that you are superior to all people who are not White.

You have also been told that the color of your skin
determines your race. This is not true. Racism based on
skin color stems from a lie that was perpetrated more than
244 years ago by greedy unscrupulous slave traders and
slave masters.

These were men who needed and used the lies about race as
a justification to dehumanize and condemn a whole nation of
Black people to the horrific, inhumane status of slavery
for life.

They needed a free labor source for the European and
American colonies in the new world. This same lie of race
and racism has enslaved a nation of people today almost as
effective as it enslaved a nation of Black people 244
years ago, that nation today is called America.

The ideology and racist attitudes that have classified
people into different racial categories based on the color
of their skin, resulting in unimaginable social pain and
death during the past 244 years of racism in America is a
lie.

The racist attitude that supports this ideology of race is
a sin in the eyes of God.

Until we Americans as individuals and a nation seek, find
and embrace the real truth about Race, none of us will ever
be truly free.

We will all remain in bondage and a slave to the false
ideology of "race based on skin color" with racism as our
slave master.

The question to be answered now is what race are you,
really?

The answers to the question of race is there for you to
find, you just have to open your eye, heart and your mind
and look for it.

----------------------------------------------------
Lander Pierce, is the owner of Reaching For your Dreams
Publications, a company that provides personal and business
developmental informational products that teaches how to
use the power of your thoughts to achieve success and your
life long dreams. For more information visit:
http://www.racecolorandracism.com

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One of the main reasons why many people are joining online
dating sites is because they want to have fun and to
experience meeting new potential romantic partners, or at
the very least - potential friends. But the chances of
meeting them are slim if your profile is being ignored by
the masses. Here are some ways that you can entice people
to look at your profile:

Make sure that the section where in you describe yourself
and what you are looking for are well written and straight
to the point. There are virtually hundreds of other
profiles competing for people's attention, and people don't
have enough time to absorb everything. Your profile should
be able to tell almost everything you need to tell within
the least amount of space available.

Be honest with your information. People are a lot less
gullible than you think, and providing false or exaggerated
information may turn off potential dates.

Don't be afraid to state what you are looking for in a
potential date. It will weed away the chaff and boost the
confidence of people who feel that they meet your
standards. On the other hand, you should also state what
you don't like. This will give people the impression that
you know what you want in life, which is a plus.

Don't be afraid to show the fun side of your personality.
Dating is supposed to be fun , which means your personality
and - by extension - your profile should show it.

Try to update your profile every once in a while. Active
searchers tend to ignore profiles that look like they were
abandoned.

Be patient if the people you contacted do not respond right
away. Impatience is a sign of desperation, which is very
unattractive.

Being too emotional or clingy at this stage of online
dating is a big no-no because that might scare your date
away. Also, this is a stage of dating wherein you have to
be careful since you do not know the other person yet; so
do not give out too much information about yourself just
yet.

It is also acceptable to send emails to as many guys or
girls as you like especially if you are not yet dating a
single person exclusively just so you can have lots of
options. However, it is not ethical to talk about wealth or
material possessions because people would think that this
is the only thing you want them for what they can give you
materially and that you are not really interested in what
they can offer you other than money.

One of the tricks to having a safe and fun online dating
experience is by making sure that your personal information
is completely protected and confidential. To do this, check
on the online dating site's rules and policy about their
member's confidentiality. As a protocol, they should not
share any of their member's information to other people or
make money out of it.

----------------------------------------------------
Marvin Perry is the founder of Athletic-Dating.com, Marvin
is an avid athlete and he has always had a passion for
physical fitness. It was Marvin's passion for physical
fitness which motivated him to create the web site =>
http://www.athletic-dating.com/usa/maine/maine_online_dating
.html

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It's a topic that fascinates many, but people don't like to
discuss on a personal level. How can you tell if a spouse
is cheating? Are there any concrete signs outside of
physically catching them? There are several classic "signs"
you can look for, however for concrete proof, you will
likely need photographs, voice recordings, or other such
irrefutable evidence.

This can be very unstable territory. You may have the
instinctive "gut" feeling, but aren't sure of who to turn
to. Relatives may or may not help matters. Friends may or
may not be trustworthy. Private investigators can be
incredibly expensive and you may not find the quality
professional you would like in your area.

This simply means you need to take matters into your own
hands. First, do you believe your suspicion is grounded?
Have you experienced personal issues recently that might
manifest in insecurity? If nothing has changed in your
life, it's time to examine that of your spouse. These
symptoms can be common for both men and women. The most
important element to maintain is your composure. If your
spouse suspects you are on to their activities, they will
be extra careful, and it will be twice as difficult to
catch them.

The most noticeable symptom will likely be distance. They
don't want to spend time with you or have interest in being
intimate. They may seem to struggle for reasons to avoid
spending time with you or your family. They may also have a
new interest in privacy and won't talk on the telephone or
answer a text message until you are out of visibility.

Have they recently taken a surprising interest in their
appearance? Have they recently became secretive? Do they
hide credit card statements or pay stubs from you? Do they
hide cell phone records or insist that only they answer
their phone? Do they get a few too many calls that they
attribute to "pranks?"

You may notice unusual computer habits. They may wait to go
online when everyone else is in bed or they may fake
insomnia as a reason to be on the computer. They may have a
"free" email account. Around 30 percent of those
frequenting online dating services are already married.

The first step that has been effective for many is a hidden
camera. Technology today has created cameras that are
perfect for such purposes. Most are small and can fit
through pin holes, under doors, and hidden easily. Voice
recorders are wonderful and provide a great alternative to
catching what your spouse is saying on their private
telephone calls.

You can use your internet browser's "history" to see what
sites have been visited or if it appears your spouse is
deleting their history. There is software available that
will let you track computer usage. No matter what method
you use just remain calm.

----------------------------------------------------
Mike Rao writes on Crime Prevention and Personal Safety
Topics.
His websites:
http://www.peppersprayking.com
http://www.personalprotectionproductsofohio.com

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Are you lonesome tonight? Are you sad you're apart? Is your
heart filled with sorrow and pain? Well, if that sounds
like you then let me give you some sincere advice. Get over
it. In today's world of technology, with the astounding
number of dating options, no one should be lonely or alone,
unless, of course, at your own choosing. Half the world is
the opposite sex and over 150 million of them live in the
United States. Now if that doesn't open your eyes to the
magnitude of the playing field, then perhaps you're in an
irreversible funk!

The number of dating options is large and includes
everything from on-line dating to the chance meeting in a
coffee shop. However, for the purposes of this essay, we
will focus on matchmaking services that are totally gratis,
free and complimentary. This should be amenable to the
readers with or without money. Matchmaking services are
those businesses dedicated to helping their clients secure
a deep, long lasting relationship often expected to result
in marriage. As you can see, matchmaking does not refer to
finding someone a date for the prom. It is a serious, and
often successful approach to finding a soul-mate.

Matchmaking services can be found in any major U.S. city
from Anchorage to Atlanta. These can be found in the phone
book or through an online directory and are often of the
highest report for the simple reason they are a business
that must meet the needs of its clientele or end up out of
business. The word 'business' itself connotes a service for
a fee, therefore, while these vocations are often quite
successful, they cost a pretty penny.

So where does one go to find matching services that are
offered for free? I advise you to open your computer and
'google' the very words in this title and you will be
overwhelmed with the number of choices available to the
suitor in search of their better half. Now before you set
off on your happy hunt, let me provide a few words of
caution.

Remember, matchmaking indicates people are looking for a
serious relationship. Be sure that is also your intention
and vice versa. Too, never announce your last name, address
or phone number until you have developed a lengthy on-line
relationship. Finally, meet somewhere public for that first
date and drive yourself. Now, that's it. Get out there and
find your future husband or wife!

----------------------------------------------------
Molly Murphy is an online dating and romance expert who has
helped countless couples and can help you find your match
in friendship and romance online.
http://DoTheMatch.com

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Of course you know that you could meet women if you really
wanted to. It doesn't take an astronaut or a brain surgeon
to figure out how to pick up a cute girl. After all, if
that humanized platypus Kevin Federline has a chance with
Britney Spears, how difficult a thing is it to get a date?
Allow yourself some dignity and accept the fact that there
are millions of girls to choose from, but not all of them
will be right for you. Therefore, rather than waste time
despairing in loneliness or putting yourself down, try and
take a more positive approach to your dating life.

Decide first if you are ready to date (if you can
emotionally handle the issues involved) and then create a
plan of action, organized by individual goals. Now is
where you decide what you are looking for. This doesn't
mean that you have to create your perfect woman precisely.
Compromising and adapting to circumstances are one of the
greatest joys in romance and one of the true tests in
genuine love. However, you should still have a clear view
of what you want in mind, even if the face of your future
girlfriend remains a mystery.

Don't deceive yourself. Be honest and don't be ashamed of
who you are. Some men are only after sex when they go
looking for a date. As long as they are at peace with
that, and do not misrepresent themselves to the women they
are dating, there should be no problem. That may or may
not be what you want, but you should be prepared to deal
with these issues. Other men may be looking for more than
just a good time. Maybe they want a commitment and would
like to eventually have a family.

After deciding on what you want, it is important to target
the type of woman that is right for you and your dating
attitude. If all you want is sex then don't go looking for
a clingy and insecure woman who you're only going to hurt
in the long run. Don't lie or misrepresent yourself. It
earns you a bad reputation over time, and if you believe in
karma, then you may have another thing coming some day. Be
upfront about what you want and who you are. Not only is
this honest, but it's very attractive to women who are
tired of dealing with weaklings, liars and cowards. Real
men ooze sexuality became of who they are, not who they
pretend to be.

You can attract a certain type of woman by how you
represent yourself in public and where you travel to find
dates. Going to a bar or club and talking about sex right
away will obviously attract a certain type of woman: either
sexually forward or desperate. On the other hand, if you
behave conservatively, talk about real life, and meet women
under more sophisticated surroundings, you may attract a
woman that wants to be loved for her personality, not just
her looks.

Remember that every little thing you do is in someway
representative of who you are. If you dress nice every
time you go out then you are giving off signals. If you
smile innocently or sneer in cockiness when you meet new
people, then you are giving off very different vibes. If
you have a quick wit and can't resist cracking jokes when
talking to women, then you are earning the reputation as a
funny guy. If you are nice and overly sentimental to most
of the women you meet, then you may be establishing a role
as a friend rather than a lover. If you remain quiet
during most conversations with strangers, then you may be
signaling that you're not really looking for just any girl.
Think about how you come across to others, and what your
subtle behavior may be saying about your lifestyle. You
may be attracting a certain type of girl—but is she
the right girl for you?

----------------------------------------------------
Find out how to attract any woman you please at
http://www.HowToAttractMoreGirls.com

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Friends can be the hardest people to shop for. You know
exactly what they want but at the same time have no idea if
you're going to be able to get it for them before they buy
it for themselves. The perfect little gift (for women of
all ages that is) is a charm bracelet that a charm may be
added as a gift every year or on any special occasion.
There are so many charms that it may be hard to pick just
one, but it really is all about who the person receiving it
is and what they like. No charm bracelet is like anyone
else's; it's a personal, one of a kind thing.

Some of the many charms available are religious such as
crosses, Star of David, Our Lady of Rosary, and so on. So
if you have a friend that is deep into their religion,
choosing a religious charm is the perfect fit. In
addition to bracelets, may charms may be used on necklaces
of any kind as a pendant. Thin chains made of gold, silver,
or strands of sturdy fabric that can be laced through the
hole of the charm will look beautiful.

Hearts are beautiful for necklaces or bracelets; they catch
the eye and can be something simple, elegant, or fun and
loud. A splash of color can make a heart pendant catch the
eye and match a single outfit or can be a more elegant look
of a simple silver heart pendant would look great with
anything and anywhere.

For those who want more interesting, unique pendants there
are plenty of those around too, but you may want to look to
make sure they are well made so that your gift will last a
lifetime. Stars, crowns, moons and suns, even pendants made
out of onyx, garnet, and amethyst all are beautiful and
interesting with any outfit or fashion trend.

Honestly, charms and pendants are something every one
should consider giving to a new friend or an old friend,
perfect for everyday and also great for evenings out- who
would've thought something so simple and small would be
able to be worn so much. Even for family, these small gifts
would be perfect for since they can mix and match, where
one or many at a time. Charms are the perfect gift for
anyone at anytime. The most difficult thing will be
choosing just one charm!

----------------------------------------------------
Denise Sanger is the owner of
http://www.My-Wedding-Jewelry.com which carries an
extensive catalog of chic jewelry for all your special
occasions. Our extensive silver jewelry line includes
silver charms and silver bracelets.

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There's no question that your wedding ceremony will be one
of the most important days of your lives. However, the
wedding ceremony is merely an hour or so, and should be
balanced along with the wedding reception, honeymoon and
the first "flush" of marital life. Starting out your
relationship with major economic problems is a bad idea.
One of the best ways you can start saving on wedding
expenses is by taking a careful look at the dress. Most
people pay hundreds, even thousands of dollars, more than
they can afford for an average to exquisite quality dress.

There's no doubt that a wedding dress makes for some
fantastic pictures. However, ask yourself, what are the
more striking features of wedding photos? It's the faces,
the poses and the scenes of emotion. It's not about the
costuming per say; the wedding dress is merely an accessory
to the bride. The first consideration is whether you want
to buy a new dress or rent a dress. Some couples have
found that renting, or even borrowing a dress from friends
or family, is not only less expensive but also has special
sentimental value. Don't assume that wedding dresses
cannot be changed or that you have to wear the gown just
so. You could make some minor changes to give the dress
your own personal touch, like changing the collar or the
sleeves.

However, if your family doesn't have a wedding dress
waiting in the closet then it may be time to buy a dress to
preserve for future generations. One option is to shop for
a dress from an online retailer. These stores can usually
afford to discount products beyond the traditional discount
you're likely to find at brick and mortar stores. For the
best prices, try and shop in the off-season. Statistically
speaking, most weddings happen in the late spring and early
summer seasons. If you can afford to buy your dress in
autumn or winter then you may be able find a better price.
Some bridal stores may even be offering below-standard
costs for bridal dresses because of the economic recession.
Expert shoppers state that if you buy the wedding dress
off the rack you can also expect a discount, which will be
worth it even if you have some minor alterations to take
care of.

Another option is to look for a pre-owned wedding dress
through an auction site. This is where you can find some
great deals on quality dresses that may not have any flaws,
or only very minor flaws that can be fixed. Remember that
in audition to popular online auctions you can also check
local classified ads. You may have to compromise on the
style of dress, if you find a quality piece at a fair
price. Don't be so rigid in what you think you want that
you cheat yourself out of a good deal; try and look for a
general a style, not a particular design.

Can you "haggle" when dealing with bridal wear?
Absolutely, especially if you're shopping in a local store,
small store or mom & pop type shop. You could try and
haggle at a major chain-store, but it's useless. On the
other hand, small bridal stores are trying to make a profit
and would let a dress go for a reasonable compromise.
Assume they are trying to cover the cost of their expense
for the dress and at least some profit. It might help to
look up some information on wholesale dresses and retail
dresses, so you know how much you should be paying for a
dress.

These pointers can help you save on your wedding dress
expenses and start your new marriage out in financial
comfort.

----------------------------------------------------
Find out all you need to know about planning a budget
wedding that will still be the best day of your life at
http://www.YourBudgetWedding.com

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This subject is best separated into two categories: how to
plan for a marriage and how to plan for a wedding ceremony.
It's well known that planning a wedding can be highly
stressful, especially when a lot of money is involved, but
even if it's a relatively modest affair. There are
numerous details that have to be provided and the job of a
wedding planner is basically an acting project manager of a
large group of people. (Sometimes in excess of hundreds of
guests) Some brides are nervous enough about the occasion
and prefer not to deal with the logistics of planning a
large wedding event.

However, someone has to do it! At this point, the couple
can delegate the authority to family members (who are
usually happy to assist) or to a professional wedding
planner. The advantages of the latter are many: this is an
experienced professional who can guarantee that a wedding
ceremony and reception will go swimmingly. Not only is a
wedding planner experienced, but he or she also brings a
more objective point-of-view to the affair. Often times,
when you hire relatives to organize weddings, some hurt
feelings or personal disappointments can appear. Hiring a
wedding planner ensures that things are kept strictly
professional and the event is truly a success. A wedding
planner's services do cost you, however. As much as you
would like to hire a wedding planner to carry the full
burden, it may not be an option for you.

If this is the case, then a personal wedding plan (made by
you or relatives) can be a success; it just takes lots of
preparation and clear communication between all parties
involved. Start by setting aside a budget and then making
an outline of all the major decisions before the wedding
day. It will help to create a checklist that you can work
by, a list of contact numbers, and a schedule of
approximate times.

In addition to planning the wedding ceremony and reception,
there are also other activities and events you must plan
for. If you want to have a marriage ceremony on a certain
date, then you can get married in front of the justice of
the peace, where he or she will witness you sign a marriage
certificate. You could even have a friend be specially
appointed on a temporary basis to act as minister. You
also need to give special consideration to planning a
honeymoon (location as well as weather) and timing the
events to comfortably coincide with a woman's menstrual
cycle. If you need help on the logistical side of planning
a wedding then it may help to attend local bridal shows in
down and other events of interest to a new bride. The
events are also great for networking among cake makers,
musicians and wedding planners.

What about the big name change? The first point of contact
is the Social Security office, but most brides advise that
you shouldn't change your name until after you return from
the honeymoon, since it will be easier. (Otherwise, you
could run into some difficulty with passports and other
legal forms giving two different names)

Last but not least if you need some practical advice on
planning a wedding, honeymoon and marital future, then talk
to your parents or the parents of your spouse. These
experienced paramours will give you a great deal of
comfort, as you know that all of these bridges have been
crossed before and that you have a large support group to
work with.

Planning a wedding is not easy, but with patience and
preparation it can be done, professionally or even amongst
family.

----------------------------------------------------
For plenty more free information on planning a wedding
visit us today at: http://www.PlanningAWeddingProperly.com

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