If you're reading this article, then you're probably going
through a pretty difficult period in your life right now.
The relationship you had with that great girl you were
dating has come to an end, and you feel powerless to do
anything about it. In fact, anything you do seems to push
her farther away. I want you to take a breath and keep an
open mind as you read what I'm about to share with you.
The following are a series of steps I took when I was in
your position, which helped me get my ex girlfriend back.
Since then, I've had friends use the method with great
success and that's why I decided to write an article about
it.
Now, let's begin.
The four steps of the Paint Method are as follows:
1) Separation Period
2) Painting Class
3) Initial Communication
4) Face to Face Meeting
Step 1: Separation Period
The first step in getting your ex girlfriend back is to cut
off all communication for a period of two weeks. This may
sound counterintuitive at first since you're probably
thinking to yourself, if I stop calling/texting/emailing
her, she'll forget about me easier and move on. You want
to hold on to any connection there may still be - but
don't. Resist. The reason for this step is two-fold.
First it stops you from digging you're hole deeper. Face
it, everything you've been doing up to this point hasn't
worked so your stopping it is obviously better than
continuing it. Second, it lends credibility to step two.
In general, women make these types of decisions based on
their emotions and the emotion your ex girlfriend is
probably feeling right now is frustration with the status
quoe. She doesn't like how she feels in the relationship
anymore and part of that is based on her perception that
things (you) can't/won't change. Taking a two week
separation will allow her to think that maybe something has
changed. Now obviously not a lot of change can take place
in two weeks, but you've got to give her a reason to
believe something might have changed. If she believes
this, she'll be more willing to reopen the door.
A word of caution: it's possible she'll try and contact
you before the two weeks go by. This is natural as she'll
notice that your pattern has changed- you've stopped
initiating contact and she'll wonder why. This is one of
the moments where you'll feel the urge to reengage- to show
your cards and tell her how much you miss her. And she'll
make it quite enticing. After all, she knows your buttons
and she'll be willing to push them to find out if she's
really losing control of the situation. You must not
reengage. I repeat, you must not reengage. If she
calls, tell her you're on your way out the door and you
can't talk. If she texts- respond but use very short one
or two word texts, etc. The idea is to communicate to her
that you've got other important things in your life you
need to focus on. In short, prematurely rebuff her
communications- but nicely.
Step 2 Painting Class- During the Two-week Break
Now this step may seem odd for a lot guys, but I want you
to follow me for a second. When my girlfriend broke up
with me, I was distraught. I didn't know what to do with
myself - thinking about her non-stop. So I decided to do
something off the wall. I went to a local art store that
offered painting classes, and took a class in which
everyone painted the same the same picture during the
class. Over the course of a two hour period, I painted a
pretty cool painting. And I actually had something to show
for it when I left.
The reason for this step is it's something that your
ex-girlfriend would never expect you to do. When she finds
out from you after two weeks that you painted something in
a class, it will throw her for a loop. She'll ask herself,
what does this mean? And that's what you want her to do,
because it allows you to fill in the blank: you've
changed. There's a side of you she never know about, etc.
Guaranteed, she'll want to figure it out. The other aspect
of this step is that it's tangible. It's not just you
"telling" her you've changed. You actually have proof-
something that you can go on and on about, she has to see
with her own eyes. This will set up the pretense for the
face to face meeting which comes in Step 4.
Step 3 Initial Communication
This step is the first consequential communication you'll
have with your ex-girlfriend after the two weeks have
passed and you've taken the class. You'll send her an
email asking her how she's been doing. Then you go into
how things have been picking up for you and that you even
took a painting class and put together the coolest
painting. Express real enthusiasm for your achievement and
tell her that you're looking forward to getting more into
painting.
Another thing you'll want to do in this email is tell her
about a cool female friend you made during the class.
Don't make this up- actually strike up a conversation with
any woman in the class- old or young. The important is
that you not give up to much information to your ex. Just
throw in a sentence or two about a cool girl who took the
class that you found interesting. Don't overdo it. Less
is definitely more in this case. Women get insanely
jealous anytime they hear about you interacting with
another woman. Sprinkle this in lightly and move on.
Finally, tell her that she'll get a kick out of seeing the
painting and that she should stop by sometime to see it
hanging on the wall in your home. Again, this is the
beauty of this method. It sets up a credible reason for
you and her to meet up and it's not just that you miss her
so much...
Step 4 Face to Face Meeting
If you've done all the previous steps as outlined, chances
are you'll find yourself showing your ex-girlfriend your
painting in your home. This is another one those critical
points that you have to be cautious. During this whole
interaction, she'll be trying to figure out what's changed.
Have you really moved on? And who is this mysterious girl
you met in class? Most of all, she'll be trying to figure
if she's lost control. And to do this she'll pull out all
the stops to get you to reveal that you still want her.
She might even try and get physical. Your job is to
maintain a detached, friendly and confident demeanor. Just
keep focused on the painting. Tell her about how you've
learned about yourself, etc. Under no circumstances are
you to tell her that you did any of this for her. If you
do, she'll be gone before you can turn around. Now be
prepared because this is a difficult step. Try and keep it
as short as possible. Show her the painting, chat a
little, and then tell her you have to take off to take care
of some things. Show her to the door. It might seem
awkward, but the idea is to throw her off. Remember the
whole point of this method is to get her consider the
possibility that things could be different with you. Your
job is to open the door to this possibility.
Conclusion
The Paint Method is designed to change the dynamics between
you and your ex-girlfriend from a situation in which she is
distancing herself from you to one where she wants to get
closer. This is accomplished by you demonstrating a side
of you which she has not seen before. The painting class
serves as vehicle for this purpose and it has the added
benefit of providing tangible evidence. However, keep in
mind that if you get you ex back and things revert back to
how they were in the past, you'll probably end up losing
her again. The key to keeping your girlfriend for the
long-term is to actually take steps to improve yourself.
Develop your other interests. Focus on them instead of her
and you'll have her chasing you.
----------------------------------------------------
I hope this technique works out for you. Feel free to drop
me a line at steven.kls24@gmail.com if you any questions
and please let me know how it works out.
Also, if things don't work out, check out Vin DiCarlo's
dating program. This is truly the way to learn about
dealing with women so that you can have women chasing you.
He offers a ton of free information at:
https://vindicarlo.infusionsoft.com/go/ac/medoeldi/
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