Relationships with other human beings make life worth
living. They can also be incredibly frustrating. Every
relationship, from family members to the waiter at your
favorite cafe, requires effort—sometimes outrageous
amounts of effort, to keep it healthy and productive. But
it's worthwhile effort. Keep these things in mind to help.
First, the Golden Rule is deeply wise. As St. Luke puts it,
"and just as you want men to treat you, treat them in the
same way". If people acted on this wisdom as often as they
quoted it, the world would be a joyous place.
Everyone wants to be noticed and valued as a human being.
We tend to not really see the people who help us every day;
the store clerk, the bank teller, the mailman. Make an
effort to look each person in the eye, and remember they
all have complicated, real lives, just like you. No one
deserves to be used like a machine. The people making our
life more difficult every day are real people, too! The
checker at the grocer who just messed up your credit card
transaction is likely a single mom, wondering how on earth
she can raise her kids right when she has to be away so
much. Please be as gracious with her, as you would like
someone to be when you mess up. You do mess up, right?
Many of us have to work with irritating people. Try getting
to know a troublesome co-worker, boss, or neighbor better.
They might have really good reasons behind their bad
behavior. You might even be able to help! But even if
somebody has no excuse at all, he's still a real person,
with as much intrinsic worth as each of us. Work on your
relationship with him with that in mind.
Tragically, we tend to treat the people we love the most,
with the least care. Yes, we're all exhausted by the end of
the day, but our relationships with our families are
irreplaceable. Lavish time and love on your favorite
people. Forgive their faults readily. Give yourself to them
selflessly. It's not a guarantee, but it is the best way to
nourish your relationships with your most precious loved
ones.
Now, some reminders. Never lie. Lies are relationship
killers. If you think you have to lie, you need to do some
deep thinking about how you got to that place.
Second, careful with the truth, too. No gossiping. You've
gossiped, and been gossiped about. You know I'm right. Just
refuse to have any part of it. We're talking about real,
fragile people, remember?
Finally, beware email. A misunderstood or inadvertently
published email message can wreak havoc on a truly epic
scale. Any sensitive issues, hurt feelings, or irritations
should be dealt with in person. By phone, if absolutely
necessary, but never, never by email. Trust me, you don't
want to learn this the hard way. Make it an unbreakable
rule for yourself.
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David Brooke, aka "The Brooker" has been a coach, speaker,
and motivator for over 25 years, specializing in coaching
people to be more productive and apply the "attitude of
gratitude" in their lives. To access his "20 Point
Survival Toolkit", a set of strategies for getting your
life back on track, visit: http://www.thebrooker.com
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