Isn't it ironic that so many people say that they are too
wiped out to have sex, when in fact sex might be just what
they need? It's true: When you feel dragged out and out
of gas, sex can bring you back to life. Instead of pulling
away the next time your partner suggests a lovemaking
session because you are stressed, remind yourself that sex
can help you feel better.
Take a look at all the benefits of sex:
Brings oxygen through the body. When you make love, you
breathe more deeply. This oxygenates your blood and
revitalized you.
Makes you feel secure and calm. Touch has many benefits to
it, one of which is to calm you down. Touch is an
essential need of all humans. Take advantage of the
opportunity to get your "touch hunger" filled.
Making a connection. There is plenty of research that
demonstrates that people who have social connections cope
better with stress. What better way to feel connected than
to have sex with someone you love?
Happy chemicals. Making love boosts all kinds of
beneficial brain chemicals, including serotonin, dopamine,
and endorphins. Sex is a great mood elevator and stress
reliever.
Aerobic activity. Although sex is not a tremendous calorie
burner, it does supply some aerobic activity, which is a
good idea when it comes to managing stress.
Natural sleeping aid. Many people feel more relaxed after
sex or orgasm and get a good night's sleep. Why not make
love instead of taking a pill?
What if you claim that you really are just too wound up to
make love? How about preparing yourself with some other
ways to relax?
Water. A warm shower or bath can help you wash away the
cares of the day and relax tense muscles. If you have
access to a hot tub, that would be wonderful, too.
Massage. A rubdown with massage oil is a great way to
prepare for sex. Or you could use a electric- or
battery-powered massager if you and your partner want to
save more of your energy for sex. Your massage can be
nonsexual, that is, really focused on relieving muscle
tension, or it can be sensual, as part of foreplay. You
get to decide.
Music. Have some relaxing tunes on hand. Smooth jazz or
soft acoustic guitar are good choices. Listen to music by
yourself if you need to wind down, then ask your partner to
join you as you begin to engage in foreplay.
Mood lighting. Soft lighting or candlelight are good for
relaxing, too. After a day spent under fluorescent lights,
being able to rest your eyes can be calming. Or try lying
down for a bit with an eye pillow, a small rectangular
cloth envelope filled with rice or buckwheat hulls. The
light pressure will soothe your eyes and relax your body.
A snack. Maybe you need a little snack pick-me-up to
energize yourself for sex. Try something healthy and, for
fun, choose something that is said to be an aphrodisiac.
Almonds and a bit of apricot nectar mixed with sparkling
water could perk you up for just a little more sexy
activity.
There's really no purpose served in putting off sex in
times of stress. In fact, you could think about sex as
just about the only positive way of multitasking: Having
sex, reducing stress, and making your partner happy all in
relatively short span of time! So stop making excuses not
to have sex and starting putting it at the top of your "to
do" list when start to feel overwhelmed.
----------------------------------------------------
I'm Dr. Stephanie Buehler, licensed psychologist, AASECT
certified sex therapist, and "Your Passion Expert." I
enjoy helping people experience love and passion, in and
out of the bedroom. Want a copy of my free e-book "Sexual
Discoveries: 25 Secrets for Incredible Passion"? Click
http://www.yourpassionexpert.com .
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