There are often many recommendations for victims of
stalking as to what they should and should not do.
Unfortunately, many of the "should not" tips do the
opposite. They incite the stalker or force the activity to
escalate. So what should a victim do?
Myth: "Obtain a restraining order."
This will give the police documentation that you are
experiencing trouble, but should never give you a false
sense of security. It's a piece of paper. If your stalker
is particularly aggressive, a piece of paper will not stop
them from contacting you. If they are confrontational, a
piece of paper will not stop a physical attack.
Myth: "Change your telephone number."
This is NOT recommended. The stalker will only become more
aggressive if you do this and will try anything to get the
new number.
Instead, get a new number and keep the old one. If
possible, have the old number connected to an answering
machine and the new number can go to your regular
telephones. The stalker will still feel they are in contact
with you and you won't have to answer calls or deal with
it. Eventually, the calls will decrease.
Myth: "Move to a new house. Change jobs"
Either change should only be last resort. If you move, be
certain you contact everyone, from your employer to the DMV
and Voter records, demand they never release your telephone
number or address. Be sure to eliminate your information
from the search engines before you move. Type in your name
and see what information comes up. Google and other such
engines will offer ways to remove your information from
their listing.
Myth: "Talk to them. You might reason with them."
Do not talk with them. That is precisely what they want.
They will not listen to reason. Many people make the
mistake of believing they can somehow talk the stalker out
of stalking. You will not. Stalking is a behavior that
requires professional help to eliminate. Your stalker will
hear the opposite of what you are saying. "Stop talking to
me," will likely come through as, "talk to you tomorrow."
Myth: "Let your friends know."
This is true. Your stalker will depend on your humiliation.
They will want all those around you to think you are
"crazy." It helps their mission. They may even tell their
victim, "No one will believe you." Tell anyway. Tell your
closest friends, family, and employer. They count on your
remaining silent. After you have amassed proof, it will be
difficult for them to roll their eyes at you.
Stalking doesn't have to be a silent suffering. You can be
forthright and still keep your life relatively normal. If
people don't believe you, don't berate yourself. You tried.
Stand your ground and eventually the behavior will vanish.
----------------------------------------------------
Mike Rao writes on Crime Prevention and Personal Safety
Topics.
His websites:
http://www.peppersprayking.com
http://www.personalprotectionproductsofohio.com
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