If you have met someone you find attractive and desirable
congratulations. The downside of this is that if you find
him attractive other women will too. You can't make him
choose you but here are five things that will certainly
stack the odds in your favour.
1/ Active listening, this means really giving him your
undivided attention when he is speaking. Most people when
in conversation only give about half of their attention to
the speaker. That's because we are thinking about what we
are going to say next. Active listening is the type of
listening used by therapists and counsellors when working
with their clients. It doesn't come naturally to most
people but can be learnt with a little practice.
You can practice during your everyday conversations. When
you do this with someone on a regular basis you'll create a
great rapport. That makes it well worth the effort when
interacting with someone you hope will be your future life
partner.
2/ Body language, have you ever noticed how couples display
similar body language. If not now would be a good time to
start noticing, as body language is one of the five keys to
creating great rapport.
Observe couples in restaurants, bars or any other public
place and you will soon see how they echo or mirror each
other's body language. This is what you will do subtly with
your prospective life partner.
The reason you must be subtle is because you are not
directly copying the other persons body language, what you
are doing is exhibiting body language that is similar to
theirs.
The person who's body language you are echoing or mirroring
will not be aware of this at their conscious level of mind.
They will pick it up at an unconscious mental level.
Mirroring someone's body language pays them a compliment at
their unconscious level and will help them feel close to
you. A compliment paid at this physical level has a great
advantage over the usual compliments that we pay in words.
That's because it isn't open to conscious scrutiny and
criticism in the way that verbal compliments are.
When we are paid a verbal compliment we will tend to
analyse it and wonder if the person paying it was simply
being pleasant or had some other hidden agenda. By echoing
or mirroring body language we are paying a compliment,
which can't be analysed and therefore has a much greater
impact. Body language is a huge area. I show my clients
how to use it to gain improvement in many sections of their
lives. Space does not allow me to go into it more deeply
here. However by simply applying the mirroring technique
above you'll create great rapport even with strangers.
3/ The magic of touch, when you hold your boyfriend's hand,
slip an arm around his waist or give him a playful hug you
are expressing love in a very meaningful way. Touch like
body language cannot be analysed so your loving message
gets through exactly as you mean it to with no possibility
of misunderstanding. Loving touch is a very powerful way to
get close. Use it often.
4/Recognise his individuality-Don't you sometimes just feel
like a number in our modern society? Well he does too.
Knowing that you are special and irreplacable to your life
partner is one of the great things about being in a
relationship. He needs to know that too.
Giving a potential partner a gift however small shows that
you are thinking about him and care about him. The best
gifts to give your potential life partner are those that
are just for him rather than the mass-produced variety. In
this way you are not just giving him a gift you are also
showing that you recognise his individuality.
Making a gift yourself gives it a special significance.
Image his delight when you turn up with a cake you have
baked just for him and its not even his birthday. If you
are not into baking a bathrobe you've made would be equally
good.
Or you could present him with a portrait you've painted of
him. I would suggest that you do this from a photograph. He
could find hours spent sitting still whilst you paint him
boring plus it would spoil the surprise. Or why not make it
a picture of his dog or boat if this is what he would
prefer. Sculpture or pottery would be equally good it's
simply a case of using your talents to create something
unique and special just for him.
If you opt for a bought gift the key would be to go for
something imaginative and unusual. It could be something
associated with a place that you have visited together. Or
perhaps a piece of music that has pleasant associations for
you both. Whatever your gift it should be clear to him that
it was chosen with thought and care by someone who sees him
as a unique individual.
----------------------------------------------------
Eileen went from relationship disaster to relationship
success using the insights of psychology. Now qualified as
a psychologist she is passionate about helping other women
do the same.
You can claim her six step "Love magnet"ecourse for just
£77 before 30th Apri 2009 by emailing
eileen@eileenedwards.co.uk See website
http://www.eileenedwards.co.uk
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