Even though "borderlines" think they are abuse victims,
this doesn't make domestic violence victims "borderlines."
We hear victims frequently labeled as being "borderlines;"
that is, having a borderline personality disorder. However,
I think what's more accurate is that borderlines frequently
think they are abuse victims when the fact is they aren't
victimized by others.
This article is intended to clarify the way in which these
two conditions differ and how they compound matters when
they co-exist. This understanding will benefit those who
help victims of domestic abuse, as well as those personally
experiencing intimate partner violence and who are also
psychiatrically certified as borderlines.
The Borderline Personality
Here's what they look like. They are unstable in their
relationships, vacillating between idealizing other and
devaluing other. They have significant feelings of
emptiness and major self-worth issues. They strike in the
face of their perceived abandonment and rejection.
The word borderline comes from "on the border" between
psychosis and neurosis, implying a loss of reality from
time to time. (For those not familiar, psychosis is
fundamentally being "out of touch" with reality.)
For example, a borderline will claim victimization when
they are perceiving abandonment by their idealized other,
(whether that be significant other, care giver, etc). And
they will strike aggressively while wallowing in that
perception.
Borderlines Verses Domestic Abuse Victims
But for these individuals, there is NO victimization in the
actual and classic sense. There is no "control" in play,
other than their own mind/thinking over themselves.
Their perceived injury occurs in the absence of the other
person having or exhibiting jealousy, possessiveness,
externalization tendencies and the use of battering to
establish or maintain control—all characteristics of
intimate partner violence.
Those with this disorder are not victims relative to
another person, they are victims relative to themselves.
One might go as far to say, they are victims of their own
psychopathology. They are not victims of intimate partner
abuse.
When Borderlines Are Domestic Violence Victims
Now that we have clarified how borderlines and victims of
domestic violence differ, take a look at what happens when
borderlines are indeed domestic violence victims as well.
This person will exhibit symptoms and characteristics of
both syndromes and their psychopathology could very well
interfere with their ability to ever end the cycle of abuse.
They may go from one abusive relationship to another again
and again, and not have the cognitive clarity or emotional
capacity to comprehend what sustains intimate partner
abuse. Moreover, their repeating participation in abusive
relationships serves to further magnify and solidify their
borderline personality disorder. It's a nasty vicious cycle
of dysfunctional interpersonal and intrapersonal
relationships.
----------------------------------------------------
To understand more about the dynamics of intimate partner
abuse, see Domestic Abuse Dynamics: Identifying Abuse. To
learn about Crazy Making in domestic violence divorce, see
Crazy Making Legal-Psychiatric Abuse: Signs and Prevention.
Psychologist Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people recognize,
end and heal from domestic abuse. Copyright 2009 Jeanne
King, Ph.D.
http://www.preventabusiverelationships.com/crazy_making.php
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