Is the man in your life insensitive? I've often heard women
describe males as insensitive. Sometimes they are talking
about men they share their lives with but more often they
are referring to males in general. As a
psychologist/therapist I can assure you that there are some
highly sensitive males around and some pretty insensitive
women.
Sensitivity exists along a continuum like
introversion/extroversion. In other words no one is
completely outgoing or completely inward looking. People's
introversion/extroversion can be measured on a scale with
many individuals close to the middle. Those with more
outgoing personalities will be placed closer to the to the
extroversion end of the scale and the more inward looking
individuals closer to the introvert end.A similar scale
exists which psychologists use to test sensitivity.
"But males behave in a far less sensitive manner than
women" you may be saying. You have my agreement up to a
point. I don't necessarily think that males in general are
less sensitive to the needs and feelings of others than
females.In a way men can be less sensitive to their own
feelings or certainly some of their feelings.Males may have
difficulty in showing feelings which they are feeling
intensely.
Generally speaking it is less acceptable for males to
express sadness in public than females although this is
changing. Most men particularly; Many men particularly
British men have been told when growing up that it's
unmanly to wear their heart on their sleeve.This does not
mean that they don't have good hearts.I have often heard
the assumption voiced that men in blue-collar occupations,
plumbers, carpenters, electricians etc are insensitive. Of
the blue collar males that I see in my practice many are
sensitive and highly intelligent. It's all too easy to make
assumptions.
The other myth that I frequently hear about males is that
they are always confident.No they are not. Males in most
societies are brought up to display confidence even when
they don't feel it. Interestingly as a
psychologist/therapist when I hear men speak about
confidence they generally say how confident other males
appear to be.
In particular most men find asking us out difficult. It's a
blow to their ego if we say "no". This is why men very
often talk around the subject when they would like to ask
for a date. Knowing this means we can hear when we are
about to be asked out by listening for clues such as "ABC
film has had really good reviews, have you seen it?" We can
then facilitate the date that we both want with replies
that will encourage him to proceed with asking for the
date. You could say " yes'I have heard that it is a very
good film". I haven't seen it yet but I would like to".
----------------------------------------------------
Want to understand males better? Eileen is a psychologist
who went from disaster to success in her personal
relationships by applying the insights of psychology. Now
she's passionate about helping you to do the same. You can
learn more from her website http://www.eileenedwards.co.uk
. Claim your free Love Magnet report by emailing
eileen@eileenedwards.co.uk
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