Domestic violence survivors often believe they are the only
victims in their divorce proceedings. And this belief adds
to their victimization. While it is true that they are
indeed victimized by the partner they are divorcing, their
partners may be victims of legal counsel.
Some successful, lucrative divorce law practices consist of
clients that are highly motivated to litigate. And an
angry, get even, gain control type of litigant is highly
motivated to do all that can be done to WIN, including
protracted litigation and/or the threat of litigation ad
nauseam.
The Abuser As Divorce Attorney's Victim
So this couple, abuser and his divorce lawyer, are ripe for
another kind of abusive relationship. We see them all the
time. You may not recognize them, because you're focused on
your soon-to-be ex-partner as being an empowered gunman
with a loaded pistol.
You see his* attorney as his loaded gun, and may not
realize that your soon-to-be ex-partner is a victim of the
gun he points at you. The gun is most likely fueling the
already existing venom within the perpetrator, more likely
than encouraging his client to settle with you.
Opposing counsel is supporting the "my way, no way"
mentality of the abuser and my way is often leaving you
homeless, penniless and childless. Let's face it, the
abuser needs to save face, show his rightness and maintain
control at all costs. And counsel will help him do just
that.
So when the abuser loses some steam, his attorney will keep
the fire going by reminding him of how horrible life will
be when you get such and such and he has to pay you
whatever amount. You get the picture?
What Breaks the Cycle of Legal Abuser Victimization?
Now, often this will be done until the abuser has been
turned upside down and every dime has been shaken out of
his pockets. Then, counsel will encourage closure on what
seemed to be endless litigation.
The importance of your seeing this is that once you do, it
will have an empowering effect on you. You will see that
you are entangled in an abuse dynamic that is larger than
you and the abusive partner you long to have out of your
life.
* My reference to the abuser in this scenario as being a
man only reflects the publicized trends and does not mean
to imply that men are not victimized by their female
partners.
----------------------------------------------------
For more information about domestic abuse and divorce, see
Legal Domestic Abuse,
http://www.enddomesticabuse.org/legal_domestic_abuse.php ,
before the abuse in your divorce spirals out of control.
Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people recognize, end and heal
from family violence and legal abuse. Copyright 2009 Jeanne
King, Ph.D.
http://www.preventabusiverelationships.com/legal_domestic_ab
use.php</a>
EasyPublish this article: http://submityourarticle.com/articles/easypublish.php?art_id=61412
0 comments
Post a Comment