Three things that Blocks he Success with Women

I can remember spending night after night in bars and clubs
in my younger days, meeting so many girls I'd lose count in
a single night.

As I recall in my younger

It's all kind of a blur to me now.

But looking back, I realize I made a TON of mistakes.

Oh well...that's life.

At least I learned from them.

I a lot of what I learned was technical stuff - how to
approach, engage, and escalate with the women I chose.

But there are some deeper things I learned, that I want to
share with you.

When guys start trying to improve with women, the first
thing they usually think about is what they are going to do
in the bar or club.

They picture this crazy dark place full of scantily-clad
women, and they see it almost like a battlefield for which
they are unprepared.

For most guys who are struggling with the opposite gender,
the bar is an intimidating place.

In fact, nightclubs are actually DESIGNED to intimidate
patrons, because that will lead to more alcohol sales.

Think about it - when you walk into a club what is the
first thing yu want to do?

Get a drink!

Not because you love to drink...but because you are
intimidated.

It's unfortunate, but that's what's going on.

And hey - it's actually pretty smart on their part.

The thing is, a lot of guys don't have time during the day
to meet women, and have to go out on the weekends.

Maybe you live in a town with a small population or
probably you work in long hours.

If this is the case, a bar or club can offer a large
selection of women - you can set your whole week for dates
after one night at the club.

But it's not as easy as it sounds - you probably already
know that.

It's funny - everytime I'd go out at night, I'd think
"yeah, there are gonna be so many girls, it's gonna be
awesome."

Then I'd get there.

And sure enough, there were tons of women.

But I was intimidated.

And even though I'd talk to tons of women, I'd get nowhere
with them.

Or if I got a number it would flake.

After years and years of trial and error, I now have a much
better perspective on the whole thing.

There's one thing you gotta know about meeting women at
night.

They are expecting to be approached...badly.

And by that I mean, they are mentally prepared to have
drunk guys walking up and saying idiotic things all night.

And they project this onto every guy.

So in a sense, you are working up hill, so to speak.

But that goes right out the window after you approach and
she feels your expression.

But that's a whole 'nother story.

Right now I want to talk about some stuff you can do for
yourself, to make the whole process easier.

Number one.

Go to venues that fit your style.

If you're a hipster, go to hipster bars.

If you like to dance, go to hip hop clubs.

Go to college bars if you are younger.

If you are older and not as wild as you used to be, find a
cool lounge filled with professionals.

But here's the secret.

Become a regular.

This may sound like small fries, and I personally like
trying new places, but once you find a spot you like, go
there often, or whenever you can.

This will make you feel much more relaxed and help you get
over with the "intimidation" thing - so much so that you
will realize why I place so much importance on this.

Secondly, don't overdo it.

In the pickup/seduction community, it's considered the
status quo to go out every night and approach tons of women.

I did that in my early days, and I actually think it held
me back.

Here's why:

I was practicing bad habits over and over.

I wasn't giving my mind time to process my experience, and
formulate a solution.

I was a madman - like the Tazmanian Devil of pickup.

Let me explain.

When you are trying to change, to reach some goal, you need
to work hard, but you also need rest.

It's during that rest period that your mind puts the pieces
together.

It's weird...I've actually made my biggest leaps of
progress when I chilled out for a few weeks.

I was better when I came back and able to reach the new
plateau (and we know that staying on the same plateau for
too long is a bit frustrating).

The third thing I would change about going out if I could
do it all over again is this...

I would have stopped planning for problems and negative
outcomes.

What I mean is, I used to think "OK what if she says this,"
or "what if the group does this," or "what if there's a
boyfriend who wants to punch me - how will I dodge his
punch while throwing the girl in the taxi."

We all do it - we rehearse what could go wrong, and we try
to formulate some strategy.

Well guess what - strategy is overrated.

Colin Powell said this,

"No battle plan survives contact with the enemy."

It's true.

You can plan all week for Saturday night, but really, you
have NO CLUE what will happen.

I think about it like this - your brain is a
super-computer, and has been developing for millions of
years.

You have the ability to improvise, to adapt, to be a genius
in the moment.

After awhile, I through out all my notes and routines, and
plans.

I went out with an empty mind, and fed my subconscious with
tons of experiences.

And that's when I started to put the pieces together.

My beliefs changed - my focus changed.

It became NATURAL.

You don't have to go out 5 nights a week to get good with
women.

Guys who are naturally good at this stuff didn't take that
route.

Their minds work in such a way that they pay attention to
the RIGHT things when talking to women.

And when you talk to these guys, their advice makes no
sense.

That's because they are trying to give you THEIR experience
- but you can only get your own.

If you don't experience the inner shift, the learning, if
it's not YOUR mind putting the pieces together, it won't
happen for you.

----------------------------------------------------
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http://www.vindicarlo.com/body-language And turn the type
of woman your friends go green with envy over, into your
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