Beware of Facebook!

I'm just like you. I made a Facebook profile.

Actually I've had one for awhile now. There's things I like
about it.

It's easy to stay in touch with people. I've got friends
from high school, acquaintances, old flings, old friends,
business associates, you name it.

And being the smart ass that I am, I like to send
offensive, and funny (but mostly offensive) comments to
people's pictures and profile walls.

I don't spend much time on it - in fact, I'd say I'm
actually pretty at the whole facebook thing. I'm not very
proactive at adding friends or staying involved.

It's just kinda...there.

But I know a lot of people who get really into it and spend
a lot of time doing pointless facebook crap.

It's like a hobby for the masses. And it can get addicting.

I've dated girls who spent ENTIRE DAYS messing "playing on
facebook."

I dated one girl who posted nine - NINE - comments on my
profile wall.

And she wasn't a psycho - she just didn't have anything
else to do!

I used to be a huge computer nerd. In fact, I still am, but
now I use the computer to make money and run my business.

But I've done the WoW thing, and the porn thing, and the
instant message thing...

The computer is a tool that can easily waste too much of
your time - actually any amount of time wasted is too much,
but hey, we're all human.

One of the things that I think is really bad about facebook
is the whole "adding friends" thing.

There's this perception that it looks bad if you don't have
a lot of friends.

The ironic thing is that most people who have huge friend
lists aren't actually friends with most of those people.

But they will look people up on facebook simply to look
like they have more friends or contacts.

This is extremely common among women - I just read an
article about it actually. Some quack-psychologist is
calling it "facebook friends syndrome" or something equally
retarded.

But his point is that women get addicted to adding friends
to facebook because they are insecure socially - they are
social approval-seekers.

And if you've been reading this newsletter before, you know
what I think of approval-seeking.

But it's a different story when it comes to women.

Women are smaller and generally weaker than men (obviously
there are exceptions). Plus they are vulnerable sexually -
they are the ones who get penetrated and have to deal with
a baby in their body for 9 months.

So they need protection - some sense of safety. And they
get it from 'strength in numbers.'

Through the millennia of evolution, women have evolved to
seek help - strength in numbers - through social networking.

This has lead to a strong mental wiring that makes them
seek out affiliation and approval from others.

Think about this - if a woman is disliked by people she
meets, she has no support group, no one to help her if she
is threatened physically. The situation is worse if she
gets pregnant.

No obviously this is not as big a concern for a woman in
2008 as it was, say 3000 years ago.

But evolution is slow - the wiring is still there.

Now why am I telling you all this?

Well first of all, I'm telling you how NOT to think. Do not
get stocked into the approval seeking game.

If you don't know what approval seeking feels like, observe
your state and train of thought when you are on facebook
adding and confirming friends to your "list."

Secondly, you can leverage women's high need for approval,
by not NOT GIVING IT TO THEM.

You see, most guys instantly give women their approval by
SEEKING IT FROM THE WOMAN.

Think about it - if you want someone's approval, it means
you've already approved of THEM in your mind. You wouldn't
want their approval if you didn't see them as high value,
or in other words, "approve" them.

So don't seek a woman's approval.

Typically, I will tease a woman before I give her a
compliment.

I will not shower her with compliments and give her
validation simply because she is pretty. A woman must earn
my affection.

If you can adopt this mindset for yourself, your
interactions will not only be easier, but you will feel
less anxiety, and you will create more windows for
escalation.

----------------------------------------------------
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