"You are in a system." These five words explain the
nightmare that battered women encounter in divorce court.
Yet, in and of themselves, these words confuse them.
More often, they think that they are just dealing with
"bad" attorneys or a court that is "failing" them. But, the
fact is that none of these elements actually stand on their
own.
The Legal-Psychiatric Network
Yes, it's true that many attorneys and custody evaluators
and even psychologists play each other to leverage
obtaining an alliance with the key to the marital estate.
And often they do this without regard for the welfare of
the family and its most vulnerable members—abused
children and battered women.
But they do NOT act independently of each other. They
represent a larger system in which each has a role, each
performs a function, each is a player in the network. And
what most people don't realize is that each of these
individuals is dependent on other members within the system
to carry out their respective functions.
Systemic Abuse
If you have read my articles on legal abuse, you may know
of my reference to the term: "systemic abuse." Let's first
define "systemic" to understand my earlier reference to
this term. The word systemic is defined as "relating to or
referring to the whole organism." I liken systemic abuse
to any systemic disease. It erodes the very elements that
sustain the organism. Systemic abuse, as I see it, is the
manifestation of abuse by that deemed to protect the
abused. The net result: the perpetuation of domestic
violence by the very systems that purport to stop it.
With Distance Comes Objectivity
As I go back and read this earlier writing excerpted above,
even I realize that I was looking at the system as the "bad
boys and girls not doing their job."
How biased of me; how bruised I must have been. The truth
of the matter is that in every industry there are "bad boys
and girls" and there are "good boys and girls," and they
work interdependently to carry out the work of their
respective industry.
Being in a System
So what this means to you, as a litigant in a divorce
proceeding with a batterer, is that you must see the
interconnection of the players in your divorce proceedings.
As you do, you will better grasp the underlying politics
that drive the course of your divorce.
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For more information about divorce abuse, visit
http://www.preventabusiverelationships.com/legal_domestic_ab
use.php</a> and claim your Free Instant Access to Survivor
Success eInsights. Psychologist Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.
helps domestic abuse survivors prevent abuse in divorce
and custody cases nationwide. Copyright 2009 Jeanne King,
Ph.D.
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