Your Memories Deceive You

All of us had our own favorite childhood memories. We also
have memories that we'd actually rather not recall.

I recall going to the beach with my family when I was a
kid. I remember the first time I walked around New York
City as a teenager. I remember the girl that had my first
kiss.

I also remember being teased, bullied, and rejected all
through school (and outside of school).

The funny thing is, memory is not all that accurate. Things
change in our mind as time goes by.

How many times have you thought you remembered something
without a doubt? You could even picture it in your mind
clear as day.

There is some interesting research out there that shows us
just how inaccurate our memories are. In fact, a good
amount of what we think we remember was actually placed in
our minds AFTER the event.

Here's what I mean. Scientists were able to convince
subjects that when they were kids, they got sick eating an
egg-salad sandwich.

It was completely false!

Now this experiment was pretty ingenious in the way it was
carried out. And the results were very unexpected.

People actually avoided egg salad after they were told that
it made them sick when they were younger.

So memories are not always as exactly what we recall.

Our minds are extremely adaptable and flexible. If we THINK
we remember something, it's the same as it actually
happening, as far as the mind is concerned.

I know how to tough it is to overcome bad memories. It's
just like the bad memories are the ones that provokes the
biggest emotional responses.

When you think of a nice memory, you feel calm, relaxed,
and it fades away.

You remember something embarrassing or painful, and your
body tightens up, your adrenaline starts flowing, and you
might even get hot.

The key is to dissolve bad memories, and start making new,
good memories.

These are all part of the feedback loop integral to
belief-formation.

Starting with good memories, your brain will start to make
the connections stronger.

You see an attractive woman.

You recall the when you approached a woman like her. It
went well!

So you walk with barely any nervousness (except the pure
excitement of meeting someone new) and you have a fun,
relaxed conversation.

But let's say you don't have good experiences to draw from.
You must get in the habit of reframing your experiences so
that you feel good about them.

For example, if you got rejected the last time you
approached a woman, you can realize that you weren't
actually hurt by this. Your body was still intact, and you
woke up the next morning in good health.

This will show your mind that approaching women is not
dangerous, and you risk nothing by taking action.

Now the next time you see an attractive women, you will
probably be nervous, but it won't be as bad as before.

If you don't know how to get good experiences, you must
reframe them immediately so they are good

Gradually, your experiences improve, and you have many
great memories to review and draw from.

Eventually these memories are consolidated and fully
internalized into your subconscious, so that they are now
beliefs.

This is why it's next to impossible to change your beliefs
on the spot.

It takes time. The brain needs time to rewire itself.

Trying to change your beliefs only reaffirms that you
aren't the person you want to be; as you are saying "I'm a
great guy, women like me," your mind is simultaneously
commenting, "yeah right, I'm lying, it's bullshit, this is
stupid."

Your memories can haunt you and plague your progress.

The worst memories are often about powerlessness, whether
you were mistreated by your parents, ridiculed by your
peers, or rejected by females.

Here's the good news. You don't have to change your beliefs
to have success with women NOW.

You have to change your focus - your attention in the
present moment.

This is easy when you know what to focus to!

Just like playing a game...if you know what to focus on,
and can do only that, you will do very well.

If you're playing basketball, focus on boxing out when the
other team takes a shot.

When your point guard is bringing the ball down court,
focus on finding space or setting a pick so your teammate
can find space.

When you get the ball, focus on getting your feet planted
and look at the back of the rim as you flick your wrist.

It's the same with women.

If you know what to pay attention to with women, you will
know what to do naturally, without effort or fear.

This is the start of a new life, new memories and the new
you.

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