Hey, Can We Talk? Some Tips For The First Date

So, it has finally happened. You have asked the man / woman
of your dreams for a date. He / she said "sure why not?"
and you're sitting across from him / her, positive you are
answering that question. You can't think of anything to
talk about, except the weather and the local sports and bar
scene, and now you're just staring at each other, straining
to find something to fill the silence. Here are some tips
to get you started.

Don't discard the weather as a topic just yet. It is a good
subject since we all have it, and if it is extreme it is an
especially good ice breaker. Sure, you can start with "you
could fry eggs on the sidewalk" or "its colder then a well
digger's posterior," and while there may be some agreement,
the conversation will probably stop there.

What do you like to do when it's real hot or cold out? Do
you like to swim, surf, scuba dive, raft, boat, water ski,
picnic, hike, sun bathe, camp, garden or sit on your hiney
with your keyboard and talk about the weather? "I love to
swim when it is this hot, don't you?" "Have you ever gone
on a picnic and had a bear steal your food?" The idea is to
have a few stories prepared about your summer activities
and interests, and your date is bound to have some of his /
her own.

Winter, Fall and Spring are also full of things to discuss.
Talk about Halloween, Labor Day, Christmas, or
Thanksgiving. Mention ice skating, sledding or shoveling
snow. Talk about the worse blizzard you ever saw. Have you
ever been in a hurricane or tornado? In short, there are
many life experiences that people share. We all have
weather, and if it isn't the best topic on its own, it
certainly can suggest a lot of subjects to get the
conversation moving.

Local events are also rich sources of grist for the
conversational mill. What buildings are being torn down or
put up in your town? Is a bridge being replaced or
repaired? Can the pot holes on your local roads swallow
your car? Has your mayor or the city counsel been in the
news? Again, you are just trying to establish common
ground. You both use the roads, cross the bridge, or have
opinions about whether the old building should be torn down
or if the new one should be built. You both shop at local
stores, eat at local restaurants and visit the same parks
and museums. If one of you is new to the area, providing or
obtaining information about the town should give you
something to chat about.

How about food? We all have to eat. What is your favorite
cuisine? Do you like to cook? Have you had a cooking
triumph or disaster that you can share? Chances are your
date has had a few of his / her own kitchen adventures, and
would enjoy talking about them.

Do you like movies? Have you just read a good book or
watched a great TV show? Have you visited some place
interesting? Are you planning a vacation to an exotic
location? Ask your date to describe places he / she has
found interesting, and you may find that you won't need
another subject for the rest of the night.

Pet stories are always fun. Okay, they may not be so great
while they're happening, but they can be funny in the
retelling. I've gotten a lot of mileage out of the time my
dog guide munched down 3 doughnuts from the desk of the law
school dean. Certainly your dog, cat, horse, ferret snake
or bird has done something funny that you can tell your
date in hopes of getting a good story in return.

In the early stages of any relationship, you are just
trying to establish enough common ground to learn about
each other. A first date isn't the time to talk about your
ex, your medical problems or political or religious
beliefs. You don't want to come on too strong and scare
your date off. Eventually, when you and he / she have
covered some ground, it will feel more natural to mention
what a geek your brother is or how you would like to teach
your boss deep sea diving without scuba gear.

However, for the first few hours, you want to keep it light
and fun. Don't tell off color jokes or talk negatively
about others. Don't be critical of how others dress or
feel. You may be insulting your date without knowing it.
Just relax, start with casual topics, and you will find
that your discussion will build into richer and deeper
subjects.

Take your time. Eventually, you'll know if you and he / she
were "meant to be" or are going to be better off remaining
cordial strangers.

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For more articles about relationships, visit Lucille at
http://www.couple-or-not.com .

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