Discovering that a family member or close friend is
addicted to drugs or alcohol can be a devastating blow,
particularly if they have been or appear to have been
living a normal life. Being addicted is not a weakness, it
is an illness but one where the victim must help
themselves. People who find themselves dependant upon
substances to help them through life frequently have very
low self esteem. Often at the heart of their problem is
the fact that they do not feel worthy of love or respect
from their families or peers. Their addictions have been a
way of numbing whatever emotional pain they have been in
and only they can decide to stop and change their lives.
So, when a person suffering from an addiction problem
finally faces their demons and decides that they need to
stop what they are doing, it is a huge step for them. This
recognition of self destructive behaviour is the first
stage in their recovery and they will need all the help and
support that they can get. The person has to be committed
to changing their ways or treatment will not work.
However, now that they have made this important decision,
their family and friends are a vital source of support and
help.
Hopefully, the person suffering from addiction problems has
been admitted to a specialist clinic or on to a good
program to help them come off alcohol and or drugs, so they
will be sober and clean. If they have not, vigorously
encourage them to get onto one or at the very least see a
doctor. It will be incredibly difficult for them to stay
sober or clean and not fall back into the old ways. This
is where a good support system comes in. It is very
important that family and friends listen and discuss the
person's worries and concerns. Talking through problems is
known to help and it is a good idea to get the person to
work through the solutions for themselves as well. It is
going to require tough love and making them take
responsibility for their own actions. Give them as much
love and emotional support as you can and encourage them to
attend clinics and meetings. Make sure that alcohol or
prescription medications are locked away and that money is
not left lying around, in other words remove all visible
temptations. If they relapse, this is not a complete
disaster, continue to support and encourage. Strongly
suggest they go back to the clinic or the doctor and that
they continue to attend their clinics and meetings.
You may find that you need a bit of help and support for
yourself, so do not neglect your own needs. There are
organisations that will help and support you too.
Remember, this is a long term recovery in that it is a bit
like a marathon rather than the 100 metres and needs to be
approached in the same way. There will be frustrations and
disappointments along the way, but if you can help your
loved one through this, it will be worth it in the end.
----------------------------------------------------
Graham Baylis has been working with Tony Harrison of
InExcess for sometime now and together they are spreading
the word about how anyone with a dependency on alcohol or
drugs can break the habit and recover if they want to. For
more information on this topic, see their website at
http://www.inexcess.tv
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