He loves me, he loves me not. She loves me, she loves me
not. Wouldn't it be nice if you could know for sure? Well,
while there's not one single way to tell if you hold his or
her interest, or better yet his or her heart, there are
many subtle and not so subtle clues offered through a
person's body language that speak much louder than words.
So, what should you look for in regard to a person's body
language to let you know that love has arrived? If you want
to play "love detective," here are your first clues:
Eye Contact
It's true that when it comes to love the "eyes have it." In
a face-to-face encounter, the first indicator of mutual
attraction is eye contact. In fact, communication experts
agree that if eye contact exceeds 70% during an
interaction, the two people talking are probably more
interested in each other than in the actual conversation.
Similarly, if a person is not interested, a decrease in eye
contact will be seen.
Pupils Will Dilate
When looking at an object of interest, our pupils will
dilate or become larger. This makes it easier to see the
desired object.
Postural Mirroring
Two people who are interested in each other and are getting
along, will perform a phenomena called postural mirroring,
or postural echoing. Just as it sounds, postural mirroring
occurs when a couple assumes the same body position of
their beloved. For instance, if one person sits with their
legs crossed and their hand to their chin, the other person
will also sit with their legs crossed and their hand to
their chin. Or, when one person lifts their glass to take a
drink, almost as on cue, the other person will do the same.
Gestural Mirroring
Akin to postural echo is gestural echo. Again, when two
people are interested in each other, they will often echo
each other's gestures. For instance, if one individual uses
the "thumbs up" gesture sometime during the evening, it is
common for this gesture to be repeated by the other person
sometime later in the evening.
Vocal Mirroring
Not only do people who are romantically interested in each
other echo each other's posture and gestures, but they will
also frequently echo each other's voice. For instance, if
at the beginning of a conversation one individual is
speaking slow and the other is speaking fast, by the end of
the conversation it is common for the couple to both have
altered their rate of speech to a comfortable medium.
Additionally, if one person speaks in a soft voice, the
other will typically speak in a soft voice as well.
Pet Names
A good indicator that a romance is intensifying occurs when
a couple begins to call each other by pet names. Common pet
names include: "honey," "darling," "sweetie," "sugar,"
"baby" and yes, even "sweet thang."
Baby Talk
As attraction for each other grows, a couple will often
engage in baby talk. Much like one would talk to an infant,
baby talk is done with a syrupy sweet voice. "How's my
little darlin' doin' today. "Did you miss me?" or "What's
my sweet baby doing?"
Touch
How much touch and who initiates touch in a relationship
are very important clues as to how the relationship is
doing. By reaching out and touching another person we
indicate our interest in them. When people are getting
along, they spend a lot of time touching each other.
Whether sitting next to each other, holding hands, or
locked in a warm embrace, you will often find lovers just
can't keep their hands off one another.
Feet
One of the clearest indicators of whether or not someone is
interested in you is to look at their feet. If a person's
feet are pointed in your direction, you can be assured that
you are where their interest lies.
----------------------------------------------------
Susanne Gaddis, PhD, known as the Communications Doctor, is
an acknowledged communications expert who has been speaking
and teaching the art of effective and positive
communication through workshops, seminars, and keynote
presentations across the United States since 1989. Past
clients include: NASA, Oracle and the American Nurses
Association. For free articles written by Dr. Gaddis, visit
http://www.CommunicationsDoctor.com or call 919-933-3237.
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