Online Dating and Other Relationships

With the personal computer and online dating phenomenon,
many people are turning to the online dating services
instead of the bar scene, blind dates, or fix-ups by
friends, to find potential partners. Many have found a
suitable partner and gone on to get married and be happy.
There are several differences in these couples and the ones
that hop from one partner to another, never finding what
they are looking for.

Some online dating services prescreen possible fits based
on personality traits. They have even come up with an
online dating service that is for the oddball, misfit
personalities that conservative people may consider too
eccentric or high strung for any type of long-term
relationship. The common factor of online dating service
matches is that, if BOTH people are HONEST about who they
are, and their traits match up in a balanced fashion, they
will be compatible, yet have some other interests that the
other person doesn't to keep the relationship interesting.

Some people who turn to online dating services have failed
in several relationships or marriage for various reasons.
The question is whether they are carrying this past baggage
or resentfulness with them, thus sabotaging any
relationship, whether online or in person. It does not mean
that they are a bad person; maybe they were the innocent
victim so to speak. While it takes two people to form a
relationship, normally one is more responsible for the
breakup than the other one.

Psychologists say that the key to happy relationships is to
be happy with yourself, first and foremost, and secure
enough that you remain happy and busy with your own life,
and only use a relationship to spice up your life. Many
failed relationships are due to the fact that one of the
individuals is looking to the relationship or other person
to make them happy, thus becoming clingy, needy, and
jealous, which turns the other person off and running for
the hills. By being happy and self-confident, you will draw
a similar type person to you, and any relationship will
manifest what you both bring to the table.

If one or both partners are unhappy and looking for the
other one to fulfill their needs, or if they are insecure
and jealous, the whole relationship will be one of
neediness, insecurity and jealousy. Usually, these problems
have an underlying cause and manifest themselves when
something threatens the relationship because the person is
not secure or self-confident enough to let it go.

If you are dating a man that is looking at skinny, shapely
women and you are slightly overweight, you are going to be
jealous and insecure because you feel you do not fit what
interests him. If a man is balding, and his girlfriend is
constantly talking about other men's beautiful hair, it is
going to make him feel insecure about something he cannot
do anything about despite the fact that he may have the
best personality, career and be a lot of fun. By feeling
secure with who you are, and finding a partner that accepts
who you are, you will find a great relationship where you
are both happy and confident, and compliment each other's
life.

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