Well are you? Do you know what the word 'etiquette' refers
to? Do you think we are talking about table manners? Well
table manners are a part of etiquette but only a small
part. Etiquette applies to all things in life. It is a
system of behaviors that are genteel and kind.
I have some thoughts on the condition of the world today,
as I'm sure many of us do. Yes it's fast, competitive,
loud, somewhat unethical and definitely rude. We can't do
much about the first three, and each of us must improve the
unethical part in ourselves, but it is the last one I want
to consider here.
We long for the 'good old days' when life was more relaxed
and the pleasures of life were abundant. Now I suspect
that an image of a mint julep in the hand of a beautifully
dressed lady on a veranda has jumped into your mind. Well
that is a little before my time, but doesn't it sound
lovely?
No, I'm thinking more like the 1940-50's. This was a time
when etiquette was still important and bad manners at the
table were not tolerated. People cleaned up to sit down to
dinner and napkins were used for the purpose they were
intended. Dressing properly for an occasion was adhered to.
Men still acted like gentlemen and women like ladies. Men
should know that I do not know of a lady who does not enjoy
having the door opened for her, or an arm to lean on going
down some stairs.
I know there are some good things that have emerged from
the looser societal rules of blue jeans and sweat shirts
and running shoes. This behavior has helped to eliminate
class distinctions and make everyone appear the same.
Some of the younger ones will tell you they don't care
about all of that fluff, 'who cares if I eat with my
fingers', but then see how they want all the etiquette
correct for their wedding.
Many children today don't even know what table manners are.
They eat in front of the TV with their fingers. They don't
know how to use the tools of the table or what to do with a
napkin. The etiquette they use outside the home is non
existent and foul language is definitely poor etiquette.
Most of us have great hopes for our children to succeed. We
save for a college education, investigate 'better schools'
etc., but we neglect the home training of good manners.
You may not think this is important, but you can be almost
certain that there will come a day when they will be
invited to an event where the table setting has 2 or 3
forks and your child will not make a good impression.
Etiquette does not only apply to the dinner table, it
applies to all of life. It requires treating other with
respect and consideration. Are you angry when your phone
call is not returned? Do you hate it when someone's cell
phone rings in the middle of a conversation? How about
visiting someone in their home and they don't have enough
respect for you to turn off the television? All of these
are examples of rude behavior and if you dislike them, then
you can be sure others feel the same. They demonstrate a
lack of caring for your feelings. Good manners/etiquette
is simply a way of making other people comfortable in your
company, whether as your guest or sitting across the table
from you.
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Elizabeth GoughMoody is the author and owner of
http://www.etiquette-andmanners.comM
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