Loving healthy relationships are all about balance. Healthy
relationships have give and take in equal measure from and
to both healthy partners in that relationship.
Self-sacrifice and doing things for your partner is great
and it is not a criticism, but ask yourself, are you all
give and no take?
Women in particular are quite often this way. Everybody
needs a healthy dose of self-love and robust self-esteem so
that those 'special' relationships are positive and
balanced in terms of give and take. Too much give and not
enough take often leads to resentment in relationships.
We will feel that our needs are not being met when we do
not hold ourselves in healthy self-esteem yet focus all our
effort on our partner. This in turn leads to resentment of
the other person and the relationship as a whole.
Resentment is the enemy of love as the giver withdraws to
nurse the vacuum in their relationship. It can be prevented
if we take effort to appreciate ourselves and our qualities.
Being gentle with yourself and being generous towards your
own life may, at first, seem like selfishness. However the
truth is that unless we are OK with ourselves we cannot be
OK with anybody.
Love yourself enough and that love can spread outward to
everybody around you. Start saving your relationship with
these effective self-esteem builders.
1. Lead a healthy lifestyle. Look to your diet and eat more
REAL food, especially plants. Real food is anything with
five or fewer ingredients or does not come in a package.
Refined foods are particularly unhealthy such as white
sugar, white bread and saturated fats.
Look too, to your energy output in terms of exercise. Half
an hour of vigorous workout every day before breakfast,
will help to improve your body system, your physique, your
mindset and your sleep pattern.
2. Talk to yourself nicely, then write your thoughts down
on a piece of paper. The mind is a very limited computer.
It can only hold one or two ideas at a time in our
short-term memory. Therefore, it is very susceptible to
repetitive thinking.
By writing or drawing out your ideas you can exorcise
repetitive thoughts and move on to develop your mind and
attitude. Listen to you inner voice. When you make a
mistake for instance, do you berate yourself for stupidity
even calling yourself offensive names?
If you treat yourself and talk to yourself in the same way
you talk to a child just learning the way of the World,
then you will have a self-loving attitude.
3. Take time out from all the duties of daily life to
meditate and reflect alone and in a calming situation.
Reflect upon the modalities of your thoughts. Modalities
are things like the color of the images in your mind's eye,
or the soundtrack that goes with your thoughts.
When you change your modalities, keep in mind how your
feelings change. By draining bad memories of color,
dissociating from them and making them smaller we can
reduce the pain they give us.
By making nice thoughts about ourselves we can feel much
better. It is like making our 'mind-movies' colorful, with
a fun soundtrack. Meditation puts joy back into life.
4. Be sure to treat yourself both physically and
intellectually. You have been doing your best against
life's trials. You deserve what ever you feel will be good
for you.
When you care and promote your own inner joy and good
feeling, you will be able to share it with your partner and
save your relationship.
----------------------------------------------------
Joe Koh advises people to work towards healthy
relationships. For details about how to value yourself and
save your relationship, go here
=> http://911saverelationship.com
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