How do you know if this is emotional abuse? How do you know
if you are being abused emotionally? You know from the
inside out.
Look closely at these three tell-tale signs of emotional
abuse and let your awareness of your inner experience,
relative to each, permeate your entire being.
1) Being Called to the Carpet
Emotional abusers have a very unique way of calling out
their disappointments. They do it by calling you to the
carpet, where you crawl with your tail between you legs and
your stomach in a knot.
Your mind is all consumed in how you are going to appease
and please them that you may not even have time to address
their expressed concerns. All you know is: it's time to
make this one go away, if you can. Most likely, you can't.
2) The Absence of "Emotional Safety"
Your sense of emotional safety is simply not alive relative
to this person. You feel guarded, maybe even awkward at
times, certainly not fluid by any stretch.
This is in complete contrast to how you experience yourself
when you're aware of your sense of "emotional safety." I've
coined this term to connote a very specific emotional ease
and security that is clearly absent in abusive
relationships, as well as in encounters with bullies and
control freaks. (The latter term is not a clinical term.)
3) The Boa Constrictor Inner Strangulation
This is the biggest tell-tale sign of emotional abuse. You
know this ONLY from the inside out. Here's what it feels
like: a boa constrictor is wrapped around the entire length
of your spine. And with each passing moment, you experience
your in breath constrict and your out breath almost
non-existent.
Need I say any more. When you encounter the boa
constrictor, you are not yourself for crying out loud. You
may cut off from your very essence, simply to stay alive.
Now I know if you know emotional abuse or have had the
occasion to frequent with a control freak, then you can
relate to this inner world as I have painted in these very
words. If my picture is utterly foreign, count your
blessings as you have not encountered the signs of
emotional abuse.
If, on the other hand, this article is resonating and you
are keenly aware of that inner experience of: a) being
called to the carpet; b) the absence of "emotional safety"
and c) the boa constrictor inner strangulation, then you
are lucky because you know the signs of emotional abuse.
And you can now avoid becoming a part of the abuse dynamic.
----------------------------------------------------
For more information on the signs of emotional abuse, I
invite you to check out Emotional Verbal Abuse: How to
Recognize, Cope and Heal. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps
people recognize, end and heal from verbal emotional abuse.
http://www.preventabusiverelationships.com/emotional_verbal_
abuse.php Copyright 2009 Jeanne King, Ph.D. - Domestic
Abuse Prevention and Intervention
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