The College World Reporter Donell Edwards interviews
domestic violence consulting expert Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.
to help educate young college women about domestic abuse.
QUESTION 1: In recent weeks, the alleged attack of popular
recording artist Rihanna, by her boyfriend and fellow
recording artist Chris Brown, has focused attention on
domestic violence. Many of our readers are college students
and young adults. Please explain for them the magnitude of
this problem, in regard to how widespread it is.
Dr. King: One out of every three women will be assaulted
by an intimate partner in her lifetime. Domestic violence
knows no boundaries. Battered women are black, white,
yellow, rich, poor, educated, uneducated, professional,
unemployed. They represent all walks of life.
QUESTION 2: Based on clinical studies, empirical data, and
other research, what are the causes of domestic abuse, and
for the sake of this interview, we are speaking
specifically about men physically abusing women? Is it the
result of the abuser being abused as a child? Is it the
result of some mental disorder? Just what are the known
causes?
Dr. King: Causes are a mystery, or shall I say a topic of
diverse theories. Some experts claim that battering is
learned behavior; others will tell you it is a function of
one's predisposition and personality. Then, there are
those who look to biochemical factors in the brain that are
associated with aggression. Most evidence, however,
supports that battering is learned.
QUESTION 3: For our young female readers in particular, as
well as all of our female readers, are there indicators or
red flags to look for at the very beginning, when
considering having a relationship with a man? For someone
who does not possess the professional knowledge, are there
certain personality types or personality traits or other
characteristics, that an ordinary person would be able to
identify that may signal trouble ahead, and what are they?
Dr. King: Yes, most definitely! There are numerous red
flags that are clear warning signs of an abusive
relationship. These signs are: manipulative, controlling
behavior; excessive jealousy, possessiveness; lack of
empathy; tendency to externalize blame and isolate one's
partner from all sources of support beyond the relationship.
QUESTION 4: In addition to what we have previously
discussed, what are your recommendations for our readers in
regard to what they can and should do to avoid getting into
an abusive relationship in the first place. Is there some
step-by-step, easy to use guide that is effective?
Dr. King: Prevention is the cure for domestic abuse and
education is prevention. So our recommendation is: know
this syndrome before you become a part of it. As once you
do, it is far more difficult to "see the forest for the
trees."
QUESTION 5: In some cases, the victim goes back to the
abuser over-and-over again. It is reported that Rihanna and
Chris Brown have reunited. Why is it that the victim in
many cases will return to the abuser, with the knowledge
that the physical abuse will most likely continue? Do they
feel in some way responsible for the physical abuse, do
they blame themselves, or just why is it that they keep
going back and are willing to remain in an abusive
relationship indefinitely?
Dr. King: It is estimated that battered women will return
to their abusers seven times before finally ending the
abusive relationship. The back and forth is more common
than not. As to why does she return, it could be any
combination of things: from lack of resources; to
unrealistic hopes, dreams, personal expectations, perceived
love...to a very realistic fear that things (the danger)
will escalate upon her departure.
QUESTION 6: Would you explain in detail, what the many
consequences of staying in an abusive relationship are?
Dr. King: The most serious is you could lose your life,
your health and most defiantly your well-being, your sense
of personal esteem, your liberties... It is a very
self-destructive spiral that goes in one direction: It gets
worse over time.
QUESTION 7: If a young lady finds herself in an abusive
relationship, please explain the steps that she should take
to protect herself, and get out of the relationship safely.
Dr. King: It is always best to consult with an expert in
this area before taking action, as they will advise you of
proper safety measures to take to prepare for and execute a
safe departure. They will know of the specifics to be
mindful of in light of one's particular situation. In
general though, leaving an abusive relationship is best
done quickly, quietly and as completely as possible.
QUESTION 8: What can those who are aware of the abuse do?
Are we doing enough when we are aware of someone being
physically abused, and if not, why? And how can we overcome
any trepidation that we may feel, or feelings of
indifference and not wanting to get involved?
Dr. King: There is much one can do if you suspect your
friend or loved one is in an abusive relationship. First
and foremost, one must suspend judgment in their dealings
with the domestic abuse survivor. Secondly, help them see
the subtle signs of abuse, not just the gross and more
obvious, because acknowledging the subtle is very
significant in recognizing and owning one's predicament.
Most importantly, help them find their inner voice. And if
you are not skilled at that, get them to a professional who
is skilled in therapeutic communications and domestic
violence.
QUESTION 9: Where can those who are experiencing abuse,
especially young women on college campuses, find help
through hotlines, online sources, on their college campus,
and organizations?
Dr. King: Most communities have domestic violence agencies
that serve the public and many colleges have trained
individuals who can assist survivors. There are national
hotlines, 211 service, and websites, forums and blogs on
the internet as well as numerous domestic violence
educational resources.
----------------------------------------------------
For more information on domestic violence prevention and
intervention, visit
http://www.EndDomesticAbuse.org/ebooks.php and claim your
free Survivor Tips and eInsights. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.
helps people recognize, end and heal from domestic
violence. Copyright 2009 Jeanne King, Ph.D. - Domestic
Abuse Prevention and Intervention
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