If I tell you that you are "crazy" and threaten to punish
you because of what I have said, a part of you begins to
question that maybe what I have alleged is true.
Crazy-Making from the Outside In
Then, if I tell someone in authority that you are "crazy"
and consequently they set forth to create restrictions
around your personal and civil liberties, then more of you
questions...is this true?
Then, if all those around you begin to justify your losses
and tragic circumstances by the "fact" that you are "crazy"
because the court record says so, then even more of you
questions...and part of you believes it to be so.
Then, you go around and try to convince others that what is
alleged about you is not true and over time you
inadvertently solidify what was once not true to be true.
That is, you wear the "crazy hat." Why? Because what you
resist persists. And what you focus on expands!
Crazy-Making from the Inside Out
Now on a very, very, very deep level, you know you are not
crazy, BUT your cognitive mind must reconcile the cognitive
dissidence created by the gross disparity in your beliefs,
emotions and actions resulting from the restrictions
imposed.
So, how does one resolve cognitive dissidence—the
state of tension caused by disharmony among one's thoughts,
emotions and actions? You bring all three elements into
harmony by dismissing one element or changing one. And the
one changed or dismissed is the one with the less
convincing voice; that is, the voice overshadowed by the
other voices.
For example, if you have lost your personal liberties or
portions of your parental rights, this very loud action may
overshadow your belief that you are sane. Now to keep the
emotions of loss, longing and horrific grief in check, you
embrace the challenge of bringing these two intense and
grossly incompatible elements into harmony.
You can assume the belief system and you live a very
defended life of protecting your craziness from social
shame, until you wake up or don't. Or you may implode with
internal conflict, until it resolves itself or not.
Crazy-Making Conclusion and Remedy
This is how perpetrators make their victims crazy with the
use of the system to torment and control their lives. I
have seen this hundreds of times and each time I'm a
witness to someone losing their sanity in this fashion, I'm
in awe at the utter cruelty of what they bear.
If you are a victim of someone telling you that you are
crazy and seeking to use these allegations to punish or
discredit you, stop yourself in your tracks as you ask, is
this so? Your job is to keep that inquiry going until that
thought (I'm crazy) lets go of you.
----------------------------------------------------
For more information on family court violence, read Legal
Domestic Abuse before the abuse to you spirals out of
control. For insights on healing from domestic abuse at
home or in court, read and reread Domestic Abuse Healing
from Within. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people recognize,
end and heal from domestic abuse. Copyright 2009 Jeanne
King, Ph.D.
http://www.enddomesticabuse.org/legal_domestic_abuse.php
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