I sit across from her wondering what is in her head. I just
wish she would give me a sign as to whether she likes me or
not. She slowly moves her hand to her hair and brushes it
from the front of her shoulder. Is that an indicator of
interest; if so why is she facing her body away from me? I
have to admit I get so confused even now trying to figure
out women. A man's brain is just not equipped to understand
all the nuances and levels women communicate on. We know
there is communication there; we just don't know what it
means.
I sometimes wonder what dating was like back in the early
part of the century. It seems to me that there were so many
rules and social guidelines back then that if nothing else,
at least men and women knew how things should progress. In
current times dating has become much more unencumbered by
the social restrictions we once followed. The problem with
this is that it creates ambiguity in what our roles are as
men and women. More and more women are beginning to
initiate in dating situations and showing their
independence. Men on the other hand are learning to be much
more in touch with feminine side and their way of dealing
with women. The problem that I see is men are now losing
their masculinity while trying to be appropriate in regards
to women's independence.
Regain your masculinity. The first way to do that is stop
asking permission to want what you want and to pursue what
you want. Leave room for taking a step backwards and
understanding when you shouldn't go further (once you've
failed to push forward a few times). Be a man though! Stop
waiting for PERMISSION to go forward. This applies to
approaching, escalating, even in your own life and work.
Admiral Grace Hopper said, "It is better to ask forgiveness
than permission."
When I look for an indicator of interest or if someone
likes me in some way, I am entering the frame of mind that
I am seeking permission for what I want. I try to step back
at that moment and push forward regardless. This doesn't
apply to an oblivious sexual advance. In our method we give
a framework of how you get from one point in the
interaction to the next; none of it relies on signals from
her though. The only signal that should matter when
escalating an interaction is when someone is visibly and
undeniably pulling back or exiting the interaction. Women
will rarely tell you go ahead, but it is their
responsibility to tell you when your advances are unwelcome.
It is not the woman's job to tell you if you are on the
right track. Many women don't even begin to think of a man
in a romantic light until they see he is being assertive
about pursuing her. I'm not talking flowers and candy here.
You express your interest through flirting, casual touch,
and body language. If you are not being clear that you are
interested in her, and you're waiting to see if she is
interested in you first, you are on the highway to the
friends zone.
Learn your role as a man, lead. Get out of the mindset of
looking for a sign if you are on the right track. You are
on the right track until you get your eviction notice.
Sorry that's just how we have to be, get used to it.
----------------------------------------------------
Geeky guy Dan McDonley has coached hundreds of guys how to
be a geek and still get the girl. If you want to
dramatically improve your dating life and not change your
geekness, get your free Geek dating tips ecourse and
discover 7 Mistakes YOU are making with WOMEN by going to
===> http://www.TheCharmingGeek.com
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