Have you read, "Slum dog Millionaire", or maybe seen the
film? It's a great story isn't it and one that people all
over the world can relate to. When its author Vikas Swarup
was asked why he thought it was so popular he replied that
we all like to see a winner particularly one who starts of
as an underdog.
You have probably heard the expression the "inner game"
which can be applied to golf, tennis, business or
relationships. It's basically about how our inner mental
state effects what we experience in our daily lives. Years
ago I read in a book written by a self made millionaire
these wise words " anyone who has ever succeeded has used
what they had to overcome what they didn't". We can in
other words decide to see our life circumstances as
stepping-stones or stumbling blocks.
The way we choose to see our circumstances is vitally
important. See them as stumbling blocks and that's exactly
what they will be obstacles to you achieving your goal. See
them as stepping and you'll be able to use them to help you
achieve whatever it is that you want.
So lets look at you and your current situation. You are an
attractive intelligent woman successful in various areas of
your life. You are even if right now that doesn't seem so.
It's often the attractive intelligent women who have most
difficulty in finding their ideal man strange as this may
seem.
Why is this so? I have found a number of reasons. We tend
to have higher expectations than some women and are less
inclined to settle for second best or make unreasonable
compromises Our busy lives are taken up with other issues
leaving less time for dating.
Successful women tend to scare some men off. The above
statements aren't at all negative when we approach dating
in the right way. Let's look again at those so-called
stumbling blocks and see how they are really stepping
stones to lead you to your ideal relationship.
Because of our higher expectations and unwillingness to
make unreasonable compromises we are more not less likely
to find a partner who is right for us. Because of this we
are more likely to have a happy and lasting relationship
even if we do take a little more time to find it. By
choosing a man who is worthy of us we are far more likely
to end up in a healthy equal relationship. By a man who is
worthy of us I mean one who does not expect us to pretend
to be less than we are to protect his fragile ego.
Having a busy life makes us less lightly to hang around
waiting for a prospective boyfriend to phone. Being
constantly available is a major mistake, which would make
time spent with you, seem less valuable and important. One
suggestion I frequently make to my one to one clients who
are not getting enough dates or feel undervalued in their
relationship is to be less available. There is a sound
psychological principle behind this "the principle of
scarcity".
Men who are scared off by your confidence 'ability or
success are not for you. They have disqualified themselves,
as you're future partners leaving you free to find a man
who will rejoice in meeting a woman with your positive
qualities. Pretending to be less than you are to please a
man is like amateur dramatics. Acting a part for a few
hours occasionally can be fun but you wouldn't want to
spend your whole life doing it
----------------------------------------------------
Eileen went from disaster to success in her relationships
by using the insights of psychology. Now qualified as a
psychologist she is passionate about helping other women to
do the same. You can claim her six step " Love Magnet"
ecourse for just £77 before 30th April 2009. Email
eileen@eileenedwards.co.uk
Website http://www.eileenedwards.co.uk
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