Have you heard the story about the Mexican, his dog and the
cactus? It goes like this, there was a British tourist
driving through the Mexican desert when he saw a Mexican
sitting in the shade of a cactus with his dog. The dog was
howling piteously. Being a caring sort of person the
tourist stopped and asked the Mexican "what's the matter
with your dog?" "He is sitting on a cactus," replied the
Mexican. "Why doesn't he move?" asked the tourist. " He
will" replied the Mexican " it just doesn't hurt enough
yet."
If this brings a smile to your lips maybe its a smile of
recognition. Many women put up with and underestimate the
pain of not having a life partner. Or being in a
relationship that never lives up to its true potential. The
trouble with this response is that they stay in pain and
don't resolve the situation.
The good news is that there is an answer and its just two
short steps away. First make a commitment to change. I
still remember the evening I did this although its decades
ago. My thought process went something like this-Eileen,
you are not a stupid woman you are successful at work and
have good friendships with people of both sexes. How come
you are such a loser in relationships? I looked into my
future and didn't like what a saw. In my mid-twenties with
a divorce and a broken engagement behind me it looked
bleak. I saw the years stretching ahead with one failed
relationship after another. So what was I doing wrong.
Nothing, I was pretty much going about my relationships in
the way everyone else I knew did. That was the problem.
Despite having success models for many things our society
has none for success in personal relationships. I knew that
I had to find or create my own success model otherwise I
was stuck with my current problems. At that moment I made a
commitment to myself and my future. It changed my entire
life.
I decided that I would have a happy, joyous, successful
relationship whatever it took. I was willing to invest
time, energy, money to move myself away from the pain of my
failed relationships to where I wanted to be.At that point
I was just one step from success.
Are you ready yet to move from pain towards pleasure or
isn't it hurting enough? This little exercise will help
you to find out. Choose a time when you are alone and will
be undisturbed for at least twenty minutes. Sit in a
comfortable chair and close your eyes. Picture your future,
what will your life be like in five years from now if you
don't change what you are currently doing? Now ask yourself
this question supposing I make a commitment to change and
decide to find a way to have a wonderful relationship with
my ideal partner what will my life be like in five years
time? Now picture your future ten years ahead, you still
haven't changed the way you handle relationships? Where are
you? Who is around you? How is your time spent? What's
happening in your life? Now picture the future ten
years on you've made the commitment. You've invested the
time; energy and money in creating a future relationship
that's all you want it to be. How does it feel to be a
happy woman living in her ideal relationship knowing that
you are accepted, cared for and loved?
Meeting the wonderful man with whom I now share my life was
like coming home after a long abscence. I often say that
the day we met was one of the best days of my life. However
it could never have happened if I hadn't made my total
commitment to finding or creating a success model for my
relationships.
What's more it wasn't just my relationship that changed
almost every area of my life has benefited. I've enjoyed
improved health, career success at a level previously
unknown to name just two benefits. No longer held back by
the millstone of disappointing relationships my life took
off in new and promising directions.
My second and final step to having a great relationship was
finding a mentor. The ideal mentor in any situation is
someone who has been where you are and achieved what you
are aiming at. My mentor consisted of the many psychology
books I read and courses I undertook to understand the
human mind and the subjects of love and relationships. I
wasn't fortunate enough to have a living mentor available.
So there you have it the two magic steps that took me and
can take you from relationship disaster to relationship
success. First I made a firm commitment to invest in myself
and to do whatever it took to enjoy and benefit from a
successful relationship. Then I found my mentor. Believing
that I was worth a relationship that would bring joy into
my life every day allowed me to take these steps. You are
worth a joyous relationship too.
----------------------------------------------------
Eileen went from disaster to success in her relationships
using the insights of psychology. Now qualified as a
psychologist she is passionate about helping other women do
the same.You can claim her six step "Love Magnet" ecourse
for just £77 before 30th of April 2009 by emailing
her at eileen@eileenedwards.co.uk. Website
http://www.eileenedwards.co.uk
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