All to many guys miss the opportunity to create excitement
and romance in their relationships because they don't take
the time and effort to write her a romantic, heartfelt love
letter.
Why? One of the things men immediately think when we
mention them is "Oh God, how corny" or my personal favorite
"You have got to be kidding me, I am not going to write a
love letter." We wanted to know why they weren't willing
to do this, so we asked. We found more times than not it
wasn't that they weren't willing to sit down and try, it
was that they didn't know what to write. This is where
this article comes in, so pay attention; a good love letter
can go a long way towards creating romance and excitement
in your relationship.
Here's a list of the items that you will need: good
high-quality paper (not something you've torn out of a
notebook or a piece of paper you taken out of the fax
machine) and a matching envelope, a good pen, an open mind,
and a sincere desire to tell her how you feel.
Now let's talk about the benefits of writing an all-out
love letter. First and foremost, women will keep these
letters and take them to the grave. It is an extreme
rarity that men will sit down and write out their feelings,
but remember, as we have told you before, most of the
romantic notions that women get come from television,
movies, and (this is a big on for women) books (more
specifically, romance novels). Trust us when we say that
letters are often a significant turning point in romance
novels. This is often how the hero expresses his undying
and unwavering love and desire for the main female
character of the book.
Second, you will be amazed at how easily you can express
yourself in writing in comparison to how you, like most
guys, would stumble when trying to express yourself
verbally. The uncomfortable questioning you have in your
own head while you're looking at the love of your life
doesn't happen because you are simply picturing her,
exploring your feelings and writing them down.
Lastly, the impact of such a letter is so high because it
shows a genuine effort to express your love for her.
Words of warning: if you are not genuinely in love with her
do not write her a love letter, we guarantee that would end
badly.
So how do you write a love letter?
Step one: Find a place where you will be undisturbed for
the time it takes you to start and complete the letter.
Some guys will get through this quickly. For others, this
could be an all day project. Don't think you have to
finish it all at once. Stepping away and doing something
else when you get stuck can really help. The key here is to
avoid unwanted distractions.
Step two: Get a piece of scratch paper and take just a few
minutes to sit and think about what you truly want a tell
her. We know you want to tell her you love her, but that
simply can't be the whole message. You have to tell her
how and why you love her. After thinking about it for a
couple of minutes, write down your thoughts on the scratch
paper.
Step three: Now on that same scratch piece of paper simply
begin to write what you have to say. Don't edit, don't
worry about spelling, sentence structure, or anything; just
write down everything that comes to mind and continue to
write until there is nothing else is in your head. This
does not have to make sense as far as the order of the
thoughts. This is merely how they spilled out of your mind.
Keep writing until you have nothing left.
Now take a break for a couple of minutes to think about
your lover to see if anything new comes into your mind. If
something else pops into your head start writing again
until your brain is once again empty. This is not a
contest or a test where your grade depends on how much you
write. It is an opportunity for you to start expressing
the thoughts which will eventually become your letter.
Tips: If you need inspiration or feel that you haven't
written quite enough to express all you want, you may
reference different things that make you feel really good
about your significant other. For example: music, a letter
she wrote you, remembering a past event, even having a
picture of her in a scenario where you had an amazing time.
Step four: Now is when you go back and read through what
you wrote and begin to place it in the order in which you
would like it to go. On a separate sheet of paper begin to
construct your letter from the thoughts you've written
down, putting them in the desired order. Now is the time
when you can begin to change words and maybe look at
sentence structure as best you can. Once again, this is
not a test. Don't make it into one and don't make it
difficult for yourself by worrying about if a comma or a
period is in the right place or you are using the right
grammar; we absolutely promise you that she is not going to
grade this like your eighth grade English teacher. Now if
she's an eighth grade English teacher you you might want to
reference a grammar book or dictionary, but that probably
doesn't apply to you.
Step five: Once you are organized, write the letter as if
it were the real deal on a separate piece of scratch paper.
This will be your last opportunity to edit and decide on
any thoughts and words that you will want to add or
subtract. You don't have to add or subtract anything, but
this gives you an opportunity to do that before you create
your masterpiece. (Steps two through five can be completed
on a computer if you are more comfortable that way or you
really like having a spell checker)
Step six: Now that you've written out the whole letter on a
practice sheet it's time to write the final letter on the
good paper in your best handwriting (yes, you MUST hand
write the letter). Remember to add a signature line with
something to the effect of: "Your eternal soul mate" or "My
undying love" with your signature. Place it in the matching
envelope.
Be sure to make the delivery of this letter memorable as
well. Don't just toss it to her and say "Hey, I wrote this
for you." Mailing it is an option. So is sending it with
her to work and telling her not to read it until she's
there (or hiding it in her briefcase or lunch so she finds
it). This would be a fun way to build anticipation.
You'll know the best way to deliver it. Whatever you do,
make sure it's more than what you'd normally do. You put a
lot of work into this letter, the impact will be worth
it...don't cheapen it with a boring delivery.
Don't let all the required steps deter you from doing this,
because we promise that if you take the time and work
through this activity, you will find amazing results on the
other end. And you never know; you might just enjoy doing
this extremely romantic gesture!
This type of love letter is a big deal and should be
reserved for the times when you genuinely want to pour your
heart out to her.
May it be often!
----------------------------------------------------
Phil Gilliam is the founder and president of AverageGuy,
Inc. and the author of Bringing the Better Deal - A Men's
Guide to Approaching, Getting and Importantly, Keeping the
Women They Desire. His goal is to positively impact the
lives of 1 million men through education and coaching.
Visit http://www.AverageGuy.com to get many more ideas for
romantic gestures and relationship help.
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