A lot of guys want to learn how to get a girlfriend and for
many the process on how to get one eludes them. Some men
come from a place of neediness, feeling incomplete or "like
a loser" (as one of my readers once told me over the phone)
if they do not have a girlfriend. If anyone is feeling
that way then I tell them they are not ready to have a
girlfriend. They first need to find out why they have this
limiting belief. In reality, people should be content and
happy by themselves and when they meet someone else, that
person only adds to level on contentment and happiness. It
is not healthy to place one's own happiness on another
human being.
So the very first step to finding a girlfriend that matches
up to you is to first work on yourself. Now what does that
mean exactly? Does that mean you should not date anyone?
Well, it depends on how much emotional stability you have.
I advise men to get their "act together" first before
diving back into the dating scene. Specifically, they
should spend some time alone, like a weekend, and take out
a notebook / journal / whatever you want to call it, and
write down the things that are important to them and write
down their goals in life.
Once that is all figured out then you can write down
exactly the type of woman you will need to find to
compliment those goals. As an over-simplified example, let
us say that your goal is to travel the world for a couple
of years. So you would want to find a woman has a similar
goal or you should be single while you are traveling, this
way you can hook up or have casual relationships that suit
your needs. Once you have figured out what type of woman
you want then you can begin looking for you. Now bear in
mind that the more women you date, the more you will learn
about yourself and about what you want in a woman.
I can tell you from my own life experience that what I
thought I wanted in a woman at age 18 changed a lot when I
turned 21 and changed even more when I turned 30. Why?
Because of life experience. This is why I am not a big fan
of falling in love with the first person that likes you and
then getting serious with them. I truly believe that most
men should date an assortment of women and should not get
married until they reach a certain maturity level. There
is no magic age, but I generally recommend that men not get
married before age 30. Ths increases the odds greatly that
you will have a better understanding on what kind of woman
you want.
The next step is to begin expanding your social network.
Sometimes all it takes is making one or tow new male or
female friends that will introduce you to a whole world of
new faces. It's a good idea to have a life. So if you are
the type of person that works too much it is time to take a
step back and readjust your priorities. All work and no
play really makes Jack a dull and boring boy. Women like
men who have other interests and passions, so make sure you
find out what yours are.
Once you begin dating, with the intent of getting a
girlfriend, make sure that you are spending your time
wisely. For example, I once dated this woman and I thought
everything was going well until about 3 months into it she
demanded that we move in together. I told her it was too
soon and that I would never think of moving in with anyone
until I got to know them better. She got angry and said
that if we did not take the relationship to the next level
that she would leave. I told her "well, if you are going
to be this immature about it then it is best that you
leave."
She did not leave, but I made it a point to break it off
with her. I do not respond well to unreasonable
ultimatums. So do not waste your time with the wrong
person, but all it is doing is keeping you from finding the
right girlfriend for you.
----------------------------------------------------
Rod Cortez is an international dating coach who overcame
his own shyness and anxiety attacks by utilizing his own
personal power and creating methods for meeting, talking
to, and dating attractive women. His free newsletter has
helped men in dozens of countries around the world:
http://TheDatePro.com
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