The idea of"finding the one" is a romantic myth that gets
in the way of people finding a life partner.
It's a myth for the following reasons. Firstly as most of
the world's population lives in China we in the U.K. would
stand very little chance of meeting the one.
Secondly the notion of the one totally ignores the fact
that there are two people in a relationship. That's exactly
what a relationship is two people relating to each other.
I find it annoying to be honest when people say " I just
haven't met the one yet". This puts all the responsibility
for the success of the relationship in the hands of the
other person.
In these circumstances I often point out the importance of
being the right one. In other words taking equal
responsibility for the success of the relationship and
working to make it a success so that you can both share the
rewards of a happy future.
Oprah Winfrey on one of her television shows gathered a
large group of singles of both sexes and asked them to
complete a compatibility questionnaire. When the results
were analysed it was found that out of the roughly 300
people involved there were 7-9 compatible partners for each
male and 11-14 for each female. If you are wondering why
the females had a higher score of compatible partners my
guess is that as females we are more adaptable. The point
is that if each person could find the above number of
potential life partners from this relatively small pool of
people then there must for each of us be more than one
person in the whole world who could fill the role of
potential life partner.
The myth of the one is a scarcity myth and it can keep
people in negative and unhappy relationships because they
fear being alone. You may have met couples who seemed so
right for each other that you certainly thought that they
had found "the one"? When they met whether it was 5,10 or
50 years ago there was the potential for these two people
to become "the one" for each other. There was also the
potential for them to stay together for a while and then go
their separate ways. They have become each other's special
irreplaceable one by the way they have behaved in their
relationship, by the life they have shared. That's my
personal take on the meaning of "the one".
Finding "the one" is a myth, here is the reality- there is
no shortage of potentially compatible partners. We simply
need to get out there and meet them. The essential in
finding the right one is being the right one.In other words
being fair, honest, kind and caring in our relationships.
Isn't that what we would expect from our future life
partner? When we do this we become hard for potential
partners to resist.
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To learn more about finding your ideal partner visit
http://www.eileenedwards.co.uk Eileen is a psychologist who
turned around her own relationships by using the insights
of psychology and now teaches others to do the same. You
can email her at eileen@eileenedwards.co.uk and claim your
free Love Magnet report.
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