Okay.....so you see a cute girl, you WANT to talk to her,
but then something keeps you from doing it. I'm telling
you, the longer I'm in the game the more I realize that our
own EMOTIONS keep us from doing the things we really want
to do.
Fear of rejection is the #1 reason why guys do NOT approach
women. If you think about "rejection" logically, you
should realize that even the worse case scenario where the
girl might actually be a little rude that YOU can handle it.
Yet our mind plays tricks on us. Just like Yoda said,
"You've got to UN-learn what you've learned."
Smart puppet turned CGI animation, don't you think?
But seriously....logically speaking, NOT approaching a girl
because you don't know what to say or having a fear of
rejection does NOT really make any sense, yet millions,
upon millions of men FEEL it.
If you FEEL it, it FEELS real to you. So real that it's
almost impossible to convince your brain that approaching
that fine girl is no big deal.
Let's take a look at another irrational fear. The FEAR of
not knowing what to say. It's only because of your own
pre- conceived notions and life-long conditioning that
keeps you from making the approach. My brother and I were
talking about this the other day. He observed, "Hey Rod,
I've been doing massive amounts of approaching so far this
year and I've noticed that it's actually EASIER to talk to
cuter girls than the ones that are just so-so or kinda
cute."
I've made the same observation. I've found that women that
have higher social value (generally more attractive) are
generally EASIER to talk to. This is true because they are
generally more SOCIAL, have a better understanding of the
social matrix and it's nuances, and know they have plenty
of options, so they tend to be more sociable when you
approach them.
Let's take this concept of "rejection" a little deeper.
Would you have any problems walking up to a 75 year old
woman who was shopping for groceries? Actually, would you
have any problems striking a conversation with her
anywhere? Of course not. Because you don't see her as
threatening and you also don't want anything from her,
other than maybe having a brief interaction with her.
This is what you have to do when you're approaching cute
girls. You've got to stop WANTING something from them.
Secondly, you have to see them as non-threatening, because
if you apply logic and reality, they really are
non-threatening. If you walk up to a group of good-looking
girls they aren't going to stab you. And in 99% of the
cases, they're not going to be rude. If you give women a
chance they tend to be very nice. If you do not believe
this to your core you WILL approach women the wrong way and
they will behave negatively to you.
So it's important to be relaxed when you approach them.
And this comes with practice. Another thing to think about
is that only people that know you and care about you can
truly "reject" you, so when you walk up to a stranger so
you can talk to her, never forget that she does NOT know
who you are. So no matter what happens, she CANNOT reject
you. She might reject your approach, but there's no way
you should take it personally because she is not rejecting
"you". Understand?
The one thing that sets apart men that are really good with
women compared to those that aren't (other than making
massive amounts of approaches) is their mindset. They
believe to their core that rejection is all in their head
and they go out with that in mind.
There are a TON of ways to overcome rejection from girls.
The most obvious is to learn as much as you can about pick
up and the game, go out and set a schedule for making
approaches, and then change and tweak your approaches based
on the feedback you get. The other way to do it is to
change the way you think. And for most people that means
using their will power. You've simply got to force yourself
to start seeing the world differently.
The fastest way I learned to change the way I thought was
doing two things and doing them consistently:
Reading a ton of books that dealt with pick up, dating,
seduction, business, and psychology.
Secondly, approaching women virtually every single day.
You will learn very quickly, once you are out in the field
practicing, that you will develop a very thick skin and you
will no longer fear rejection.
----------------------------------------------------
Rod Cortez is an international dating coach who overcame
his own shyness and anxiety attacks by utilizing his own
personal power and creating methods for meeting, talking
to, and dating attractive women. His free newsletter has
helped men in dozens of countries around the world:
http://TheDatePro.com
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