He's supposed to be a mind reader

There is a myth that many women seem to believe or act as
though they do. That's the myth of male clairvoyance. In
other words the idea that we don't have to share
information with the men in our lives. They can just
somehow pick up on it.

It's not clear to me how this myth arose or why people buy
into it. I do know that it can be highly damaging to
relationships.

Here is an example of the clairvoyance myth in action.
Jan's partner Craig had a long Christmas break that
stretched into the New Year, Jan worked part time, just a
few hours a couple of days each week. Without speaking to
Craig she simply decided that they would go to the January
sales on the last day of his holiday.

She wanted to buy some specific househols items. She felt
that Craig being on holiday gave them a good opportunity to
visit the sales together. Craig had no notion of her plans
and she was surprised to see him wearing a suit on the day
of her intended visit to the sales. Craig dressed in smart
casuals most of the time. She told me that she thought,
"he'll go around the shops looking smart". It didn't occur
to Jan that he might have other plans. When Craig announced
that he was meeting a friend to play snooker she became
upset and annoyed. Craig stormed off to snooker beginning
an argument that went on for weeks

It was not unusual for Craig and Jan to shop together for
domestic items or clothes. He did not mind accompanying her
to the shops. What he did mind was being taken for granted.
Put another way he resented the fact that it had not
occurred to Jan that he might have other plans.

It's presumptuous to assume that your life partner will
never have plans that don't include you and will always be
available.

The argument could have easily been avoided if Jan had told
Craig about her plans to visit the sales and asked what
might be a good day for him to accompany her.

The moral of this story is don't expect men to be mind
readers. Talk to the men in your life about what's on your
mind, sometimes the issues in question will be much more
important than a trip to the sales.

Above all listen, hear and attempt to understand their
views. If you are tempted to just assume that your partner
will be always be available or want to join in with your
plans try this. Imagine how you would feel if the positions
were reversed.

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Want to learn more about understanding the opposite sex,
claim your free Love Magnet report by emailing
eileen@eileenedwards.co.uk Eileen is a psychologist who
went from disaster to success in her personal relationships
by using the insights of psychology. Now she is passionate
about helping you enjoy a great relationship.See also her
website http://www.eileenedwards.co.uk

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