Starting dating to compensate for negative things going on
in your life can be a dangerous path to start down. It is
natural to feel the need to find a partner to make your
self feel better but you should resist this urge until you
have sorted out the other things in your life so you can
devote the time and energy that is required when starting a
new relationship. This article lists some of the things
that you have going on in your life that should give you
pause before rushing out on a date.
Bereavement. Obvious as this may sound, many bereaved
people look for love as a means of trying to feel better.
It is human nature that when we have suffered a bereavement
we strive not to be alone. This however, is one of the the
worst times to start trying to engage with another human
being. You must embrace your grief and work it through you
system before embarking on any new romantic entanglements.
You can actually prolong your grieving if you engage in
dating too soon after a bereavement.
Job loss. If you lose your livelihood then you need to
focus on that. A job is actually like a relationship and
takes time to settle into. You can't do both at the same
time and you will feel much more stable and self confident
if you have a job before you embark on the dating scene.
Home loss. Don't try to date someone who has their own home
if you have suddenly become homeless. This has disaster
written all over it. Unless you find a new home first you
will be pursuing the other person out of your need for
housing rather than a desire for them. Total carnage.
Depression. You probably notice a pattern here. If you are
depressed you will go looking for a partner out of a need
and not a want which is not fair on them. If you are truly
depressed, i.e. have been feeling sad for more than two
weeks, you are always crying and you feel tired then going
on a date will not solve these problems. You need to take
action on getting to the cause of these feelings and work
them out before you will have any energy left to properly
devote to another person.
Rebound. In the aftermath of being dumped, it is all to
easy to go rushing out there to meet someone new. The goal
is to a) prove to yourself that you are still attractive
and b) to show your ex how sexy and desirable you are and
what a terrible mistake they have made running off with
that total loser. Please try to put these thoughts from
your mind, going down this route is again, feeding a
personal need. This is not fair on yourself or your date.
Keeping these thoughts in mind can really help ascertain if
you are ready to be dating or not.
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Patrick has been writing online articles about
relationships for over four years. His latest projects
include writing about memory foam mattresses and you can
see his latest site at
http://www.visco-elastic-foam-mattress.com
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