Many people rush into marriage before they really know what
they are getting into. So that you can be better prepared
for marriage and hopefully avoid making a big mistake, I
have listed below five reasons to postpone marriage.
These come from my own experience and the experiences of
many others who are close to me. I hope you find the list
helpful and will seriously consider it before making the
big leap!
1) You need time to really get to know the other person.
When people first meet and while they are in a dating
relationship, they always put their best selves forward and
try to hide the aspects of themselves that they think will
not be accepted by the other person.
The longer you spend time with another person, the more
likely some things will slip out that have been kept
hidden. Also, as people get to know one another, they are
more likely to feel safer about sharing aspects of
themselves that they may have wanted to hide in the
beginning.
Then each partner has the opportunity to work through any
issues that come up and to decide whether they can live
with the other person for rest of their lives or not.
2)You need to be emotionally healthy before you can have a
healthy marriage. In order to have a happy and healthy
marriage, the individuals need to be emotionally healthy
themselves.
People with unresolved childhood issues bring those into
the marriage whether they are aware of it or not and the
issues will play out in the marriage. The problems can
eventually be resolved through hard work, but only if both
partners are willing to do the work.
Often one partner will decide that they didn't get what
they bargained for and will leave.
3)You and your partner need time to discover whether or not
you are really compatible. It is very beneficial to get
marriage counseling to find out where you click and where
issues may arise later on.
Good marriage counseling helps partners to figure out if
they agree or not on the most important issues that arise
within marriages.
For example, if couples do not agree on how to spend money,
whether or not to have children or how they should be
raised if they do have children, matters of faith, what
constitutes a healthy sex life, etc., there could be
serious problems in the relationship.
Problems can be resolved, of course, but sometimes couples
find out during counseling that there are so many
differences that marriage would be a big mistake.
4)You need to make sure that the relationship is not only
based on hormones and physical attraction. Sex alone cannot
hold a marriage together.
There have to be some common interests and life goals.
There needs to be a friendship and mutual respect for one
another and recognition of what each can bring to the
relationship besides fulfilling sexual needs.
5)You need time for yourself to mature and figure out what
you really want in life. Young people often are intrigued
with the idea of being married and raising a family, but
feel cheated later on that they had no time to themselves.
Recently divorced people will often jump into another
relationship to prove that it will be different this time.
Also, individuals need to find other means of fulfillment
in their lives so that the marriage partner is not seen as
the person's savior - marriage should be viewed as being
more about giving than receiving. An attitude of "what's in
it for me?" will always bring disappointment.
Stay tuned for more marriage and relationship tips...
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For great relationship advice -->
http://relationshipsguru.blogspot.com Dena Wade is an
expert in helping people fix or renew their relationships
in a fun and entertaining way.
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