Your eyes are a very important asset in the whole dating
and pick up game. Ever hear a girl say "he has nice eyes"
and then you look at the guy she's admiring and his eyes
don't look like anything special.
It's because he knows how to use his eyes to communicate
confidence and sensuality. Something that took me years to
figure out. You can be sensual without being sexual. There
are a ton of things you can do to build attraction and
every dating coach has their own opinions as well as their
own field-tested results. Most will agree that your body
language, how close / far away you are from her, your eyes,
your vocal projection, how and when you touch her, sense of
humor, confidence, etc. are all necessary ingredients for
building attraction.
You are going to use your eyes to build SOME level of
interest. Then you're going to use them to build
attraction. Interest, then attraction....got it? If you're
not used to looking a girl straight in the eye without
making a weird face or without turning away, then it's
something you can overcome by practicing. How do you
practice?
Simply start making more eye contact. It helps if you bring
a buddy or a female friend to walk a few feet away from you
so they can see your facial expression when you do make eye
contact. Their feedback will be invaluable. Here's the
biggest lesson about eye contact:
Looking a woman in the eye and holding it longer than
normal communicates to her that you are confident. It tells
her you are not an average guy. An average guy looks a
hot girl in the eye and then looks down at the floor or he
looks away. Let's take this deeper.
Her internal biological and psychological mechanisms that
CREATE or DESTROY attraction go into motion. Without even
thinking about it on a conscious level she already begins
to get that "ewwww" feeling.
All you're doing from across the room, cafe, bowling alley,
gas station, night club, bar, wherever...is communicating
that "hey, I'm a great catch, I'm confident, and I'm not an
average guy."
Women, especially cute ones, get approaches by TONS of men
who suck up to them and say stupid things, so by simply
holding your eye contact a little longer than normal you're
telling her that there's a small chances you are one of
those guys.
There are dozens of ways to use your eyes to BUILD the
attraction after you have generated initial interest.
Here's one that I used recently at a night club. I saw a
group of girls at the bar getting drinks. One of the
brunettes turned around to see what was going on (hot girls
tend to do that) and our eyes met. We lock, 3 seconds
later we both look away.
Brunette becomes intrigued and turns around again
pretending to look at other people but then her eyes land
on me again. To her surprise I'm still standing there,
drink in my hand, and catch her gaze again. This time I
take a few steps closer to her though not walking directly
toward her. I'm walking more to the group to her left.
As I'm walking toward her I caress her face with eyes and
let out a small smirk. I've read / heard some pick up
artists say to never, every smile or smirk at a woman, and
I could NOT disagree more. There's a time and place for
just about everything.
There are two basic types of smiles:
A weak, needy smile.
A smile that exudes confidence.
If you've watched enough movies in your lifetime you know
what I'm talking about.
She smirks back. Not an ear-to-ear grin, but a smirk.
Like most hot girls, this girl knew how to pace. By the
time she has turned 18 years old, a hot girl has had far
MORE social interactions than your typical 18 year old male.
When was the last time you had 25 to 50 females approach
you in one week? One weekend? It's not easy being a
good-looking female, which is why many of them resort to
being bitchy when you first approach them. I actually LIKE
it when a hot babe is bitchy to me because I know she's
mistaking me for the wrong guy.
Sometimes just staying there and talking like everything's
normal does the trick. Sometimes just saying "hey, it's
ok, relax...my bark is worse than my bite." Back to the
bar girl.
I was not at this night club to pick up. I was there with
my date to dance and listen to the DJs bring the house
down, but I love to flirt, especially with my eyes. So I
walked by the brunette and then continued walking. This is
non-neediness at it's best. I was at the club to have a
good time, not to get digits or get somewhere with any one
girl.
About an hour later I bumped into her group again and
decided to caress her face again with my eyes. We were
about 5 inches apart, talk about creating sexual tension (a
good thing in this case). She then smacks my shoulder and
walks off.That smack on my shoulder was her way of telling
me:
"You flirt with me with your eyes and then you don't step
up and talk to me?"
The thing is, if you're confident you don't give a crap on
what some cute young thing thinks about you. You really
don't. So her little smack on my shoulder....I loved it
man. I get smacked a lot by cute girls, I think I drive
them crazy sometimes. I'm just out to have a good time.
Girls GET that vibe and are drawn to it.
Remember girls can SENSE when you're needy or WANT
something from them. The hotter they are the more they
will assume that you WANT them. By the way you talk, the
way you move, and the way you use your eyes you can
communicate to them that "there's always another
girl".....without having to say it. It will come with
practice.
So, I followed her, tapped her firmly on the shoulder,
grabbed her hand, twirled her around, let her go, and then
walked back to my group of friends (my date had disappeared
to the bathroom). My friend told me the look on her face
was "priceless"...it could have been a Mastercard
commercial.
Pick up is a skill. Flirting is a skill. Just like
learning tennis, how to write calligraphy, or learning a
new language...it's a real skill and it takes practice.
Once you ACCEPT this fact you take away a lot of stress and
self-doubt.
Then you can focus more on your goals and not so much on
the PROCESS. You've got to practice, reject rejection, and
learn to use your eyes, then you go in and make the
approach, IF you want to. That's the great thing about
working on your skill set, you can opt to approach, or not.
You can opt to get her phone number or simply have a great
interaction with a girl and then walk away.
I do it all the time. My friends constantly tell me "dude,
you should have asked for her number."
My response is always the same:
"I chose not to."
When you can get a date anytime you want, it no longer
becomes a NECESSITY. Once you get to this level of
personal development is when you know you've gotten rid of
your neediness.....
I know you guys are going to ask me this question so I'm
going to answer it right now:
"Do I have to get eye contact to talk to a girl?"
No.
You do NOT need it. It's great if you get it, but I've
done some of my best work by just walking up to a girl and
just start talking.
Holding your eye contact is just one of the few things you
can start doing RIGHT now to begin having better results
with the female population. So start having fun with this.
Start experimenting with your eye contact. Who knows, you
just might make a new friend.
----------------------------------------------------
Rod Cortez is an international dating coach who overcame
his own shyness and anxiety attacks by utilizing his own
personal power and creating methods for meeting, talking
to, and dating attractive women. His free newsletter has
helped men in dozens of countries around the world:
http://TheDatePro.com
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